Why You Keep Score in Love

Описание: Do you keep score in love then hate yourself for it? In this episode of The HSP Sanctuary, I confess what I finally saw: I was “loving people the wrong way”, giving like it was an invoice, shrinking so I wouldn’t be “too much,” and calling it loyalty. We talk the difference between giving from a wound vs. giving from overflow, what it means when people leave after you speak up, and how parentification trains you to become the fixer.

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Inside the video:

00:00 Confession: My Substack post exposed me.

01:35 Trading the spreadsheet for a heartbeat.

05:12 Q1: Giving when you get nothing in return.

05:43 Resentment: When giving becomes "proof" instead of a gift.

07:53 Q2: What if they walk away when you speak up?

10:01 The hard truth: Being used as a service, not a connection.

10:30 Q3: Shrinking yourself to avoid being "too much."

12:35 Personality vs. the Inner Child’s safety plan.

14:00 Q4: Parentification, enmeshment, and loss of identity.

16:52 Q5: Relational Love vs. Transactional Love.

18:15 Love as an "invoice" and the cost of keeping score.

19:44 My Bali Lesson: Receiving requires permission.

21:00 Two questions for your own heart.