“Choices” Beat by Thomas Dean (Epistra)

Описание: At the end of 2017, my pain was at its worst and I decided to switch to a NaPro doctor closer to home - Dr. Stephen Hilgers. During our initial phone consultation, after he read all my post op reports and learned of my symptoms, he sensitively uttered words that I had dreaded for years: "Mary, I'm not sure we will be able to avoid a hysterectomy. Try to prepare yourself."

As I sat at my kitchen table, eyes on the verge of tears and locked on Chris, time stopped. It took about a week for me to shake the haze of my new reality off. After all I had been through, this is how it would end. Anger pulsed through my veins.

When feeling such unpleasant emotions, we have a decision to make. Love doesn't always feel good. Sometimes we feel nothing at all, but it is a choice we can make every single day.

After a diagnostic surgery with my new doctor, I would learn that I had another option - he could cut the large diseased portion (adenomyosis) of my uterus off rather than removing the whole thing. We were all pleasantly shocked. But it was while I waited in the depths of my pain for this first surgery that I wrote these lyrics.

If you've ever been pissed off at God, this song is for you.