The Wee Man - Mr & Mrs

Описание: 'Mr & Mrs', a new play by Rab C Nesbitt creator Ian Pattison at The Stand 2 for Edinburgh Fringe 2025, Aug 18 - 24, ticket link in bio.

Written and performed by Neil Bratchpiece
Beats - Toni Smoke
Camera - Roy Bryson and Chris Toal
Editing - James Archibald and Calum Bob Weir

Featuring Dionne Frati as Marie

Chris Toal, Sammi Bremner, Mark Bratchpiece, Rob Kane, Graham Mackie, Barry 'Wolfgang' Young, Scott Agnew, Alan Cope, Malky (or maybe Milky), Ian 'Flex' Huntington, Mark Dallas, Timm Wylie and Jen 'Chantelle' McGuigan.

Thanks to Tap End Tef and Ann's Fry.

RIP Gary Little. Felt weird posting this so soon after his passing, but I tried to keep in mind his own words spoken at many gigs I did with him.

"Let's get this done so we can git up the road."

See you up the road big man.

Lyrics

(Hook)
Yer a dick, yer a dick,
Canny get a job cos yer just oot the nick.
I'm at the tip of my wick,
Need a new telly canny get one on tick.
Ma da was right about you,
Me an ma ma had a fight about you,
She talked shite about you,
Said The Digger's gonna write about you.
Quit being a fanny, try being a man eh,
I want to leave but I canny, cos the wean needs new sannies.
Doesny matter what they ran you, s'ma hoose an I'll ban ye.
So shift or I'll tan ye, go, just run away can ye.

Awrighty how's life treatin' ye?
How's yer maw she was sweet on me,
How's the missus she feedin' ye?
Aw this is Marie, the cheek of me.
See I'm just oot the jail,
Been away for a while,
And I got oot ma dial,
Cos I was worried she'd cheat on me.
Nae kisses fae the missus,
Nae winch, that's her wishes,
Nae nip, nae drip, nae lip so I'm nippin' doon the chippy an I'm sleepin' wae the fishes, an I've no done the dishes yet,
Back to the gaff an she's split so I'm gonna get pished an whit?

(Hook)

An I might gub an eccy, go skelly eyes like I'm speccy
Rack that oot have a big black ott spark oot cos I've no paid the leccy,
An she's gonna deck me, cos the wean's got nae brekkie,
But I'm oot ae here check ye, and I shouldny but hecky thump
When I said I'd pump yer maw no I never said I wasny gonna dump yer maw
Noo I'm jumpin like I done a wee bump an aw
Cos I'm sick ae gettin done like a chump an aw
Naw, naw, naw, no takin that snash, cos I'm oot on the lash,
Got a nine bar a hash, and I'm too mashed to smash

(Hook)

Bring the maws back to me
The maw that I pump's gone in the hump wae me
I'll get a cow fae a Tennents tinnie
Feelin like a tenant masel in Barlinnie
So whit's a boy to do noo, cos single life's a zoo, true
Like I'm in a Bonnie Blue queue, eww
Think I'm gonna spew, eww
You can put that rat back, settle doon hen no I don't need the clap back
Used to be an STI wae a snapback
Then I met ma missus Marie and I patched that
So put that rat away that a way
Baby don't hurt me ma name isnae Haddaway
What is love? It's a pain in the hoop
But I need to stick it oot she does a nice pot of soup that cow.

(Hook)

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