(Thank you for choosing to fly) Ryanair - a Kirk Field poem

Описание: (Thank You for Choosing to fly) Ryanair

We may score low on customer satisfaction,
n our seats more painful than a pregnant contraction
hidden extras may triple the cost of your fare,
but thank you for choosing to fly Ryanair.

We’ll fine you if your suitcase is a fraction too large, and you have to repack to avoid an extortionate charge. You may have to board wearing five layers of outerwear,
but thank you for choosing to fly Ryanair.

Expect to pay extra to sit together on slimline, non-reclining, synthetic leather.
But remember our cabin crew, as they goose-step through will still take delight in separating you.
It may not be right, it may not be fair,
but Thank you for choosing to fly Ryanair

Redefining the short-haul aviation model; We combine ‘low-cost’ flights with even lower morals.
No first-class frills, only economy,
No overnight flights, just daylight robbery.

With his misleading low-emission lies,
Michael O’ Leary stains the skies
but like his scratch cards, no one buys...’em

Our business model is basically ‘a wing and a prayer’
If we could, we’d charge you for breathing in our air,
so Thank you for choosing to fly Ryanair.

and if we were to crash, we still won’t refund yer cash
but as you upgraded to “speedy boarding”,
you’ll get to scream first on the black box recording.
But don’t expect a body bag to show your superiority,
Unless you booked ‘Priority’

Our porridge is lumpier, our pilots jumpier, our check-in staff grumpier and our landings bumpier
Rapidly descending, and with blurred vision
you adeptly adopt the Brace position.

You think you hear angels and start to say a prayer
But it’s just the awful ‘we’ve landed on time!’ fanfare.

Your lunch is in the sick bag, your luggage everywhere
We’ll fly you to an airport in the middle of nowhere
It may have been an utter and absolute nightmare,
File a complaint, see if we care!
Serves you right for choosing to fly Ryanair

Remaining seated until the sign is switched off,
the resentment which has been brewing ever since take-off
fuelled by the cramp and in-flight consumption /
prompts everyone to finally address the smug assumption

and speaking in one unified voice
the passengers shout “Choice? We had no choice!”
“No one ‘chooses’ to fly Ryanair’ –
It's either this or bloody well swimming there.”

© Kirk Field 2026