When You’re Made the Scapegoat by Narcissists—Constantly Blamed for No Clear Reason

Описание: When You’re Made the Scapegoat by Narcissists—Constantly Blamed for No Clear Reason

Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where blame seems magnetically drawn to you—no matter how thoughtfully you speak, how much emotional labor you contribute, or how carefully you try to maintain harmony? One moment you’re criticized for being “too emotional,” and the next you’re condemned for being “detached,” as if the rules keep changing without warning. Psychologists note that this kind of contradictory blame creates cognitive and emotional whiplash. It leaves you searching for logic in a system that has none. This experience is not coincidence, and it is not evidence of a personal flaw. From a psychological standpoint, it is often the hallmark of scapegoating, a dynamic frequently observed in narcissistic or emotionally dysregulated relationships, where one person is unconsciously designated to carry the emotional burden of the entire system.

Scapegoating rarely announces itself through overt hostility. Instead, it seeps in quietly, almost imperceptibly. At first, you may simply notice a lingering discomfort after conversations—a subtle sense that something is off. You might catch yourself apologizing automatically or replaying interactions late at night, trying to pinpoint what you did wrong. Trauma-informed psychologists explain that this state of confusion is a direct consequence of emotional disorientation. Dr. Ramani Durvasula often emphasizes that individuals with pronounced narcissistic traits experience intense internal shame and a limited capacity for accountability. When conflict arises, their nervous system interprets self-reflection as a threat to identity. To protect against that perceived annihilation, blame is displaced outward, and another person becomes the psychological vessel for emotions they cannot safely process themselves.

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