This is what the fawn response looks like.

Описание: Subscribe for more! Do you experienced the fawn response?

Our autonomic nervous system is really smart: it remembers patterns. If, in the past, disagreements, moments of conflict, or mismatches in needs led to danger, it will remember those cues and trigger a danger response now.

When our nervous system perceives danger, we shift into one of two states: fight/flight (the parasympathetic nervous system) or freeze (the dorsal vagal system).

In fight/flight, we feel agitated, hyper-active, hyper-vigilant, and restless. We may feel anxious, panicked, stressed, or angry. Our hearts race; our breath is shallow.

In freeze, we feel shut down. We’re totally depleted of energy; maybe even numb. It feels impossible to truly connect.

(Fawning is widely understood to be a mixture of both: external activation mixed with internal shutdown and dissociation.)

Many of us have had these responses many times without even being aware of them. Personally, before I set a hard boundary, I tend to go into fight/flight. I’m ruminating, anxious, and stressed, and my heart speeds like a racehorse.

Now, I understand⁠—and respect⁠—that when I feel this way, it’s because my nervous system believes I’m in danger. Once we recognize that we’re in an activated state, our task is to:

👉 First, acknowledge that part of us feels endangered, even if it’s not a part we’re consciously aware of.

👉 Second, recognize that this part of us kept us safe in the past.

👉 And third, take specific, tangible steps to cue our nervous system that we are actually safe⁠—steps that involve self-compassion practices, Polyvagal somatic exercises, and more.

These are the steps that actually reduce our feelings of fear and enable us to proceed in a grounded, confident, and calm way.

I will be teaching these specific steps⁠—and helping you customize them based on your unique nervous system profile—in my on-demand workshop The Self-Soothing Survival Guide for Courageous Self-Advocacy, here: https://www.haileymagee.com/the-selfs...