What is a Trauma Bond in Couples Therapy? Trauma Bond Marriage Therapist Katie Ziskind Talks

Описание: Hi, my name is Katie Ziskind. I’m the owner of Wisdom Within Counseling here in Niantic, Connecticut. You can book your free phone consultation to gain emotional confidence and positive coping skills, as well as healthy communication techniques, to better your relationship over at WisdomWithinCT.com.
In this video, I’m going to talk a little bit about a trauma bond. A trauma bond is a pattern of abuse, could be physical, emotional, sexual, psychological abuse of any kind, where you may feel manipulated, you might feel like there's gaslighting, your voice isn't heard and you may also feel ignored, unimportant or unwanted by your partner. If you are in a trauma bond, there's often childhood trauma that is unresolved.
So you and your romantic partner may have love wounds from childhood. A parent or a caregiver who was supposed to love you and nurture you, was not available emotionally. You may have had to take care of an alcoholic parent, your spouse may have had a highly critical or verbally abusive mother, and the person that they deeply wanted affection and approval from just could not give that to them.
I’m a trauma bond specialist, I work a lot with complex trauma fight, flight, freeze responses. When couples get into high conflict arguments, there's usually unhealed love wounds and trauma underneath that. So when you feel intense betrayal, you feel anger, maybe your partner has addiction issues, sex addiction, drug addiction, alcoholism themselves and their adult life, all of these things can really cause problems in your marriage. It can lead to trust problems.
In counseling, we can give you skills to break the trauma bond, first understanding the four cycles of a trauma bond, understanding the pattern, identifying what cycle you're in, how to self-soothe, how to distress, kind of tolerate the stress in a healthy way.
I help you switch from negative communication, like interrupting each other, following each other around, maybe physically hurting each other. Whatever these negative communication kind of techniques you're currently using are they're not serving you any longer, they're not helpful, they're actually causing more damage than good. And underneath each of those negative communication styles is a need, so a core need.
So I help you figure out what that core need is, communicate your core need in an effective and calm way and help your partner hear you. So instead of yelling, name-calling, criticizing or belittling, the relationship can improve in a healthier way and you can actually learn ways to communicate calmly.
So you can feel loved, you can feel a sense of playfulness. There can be overall acceptance and compassion, which promote a sense of resilience. Healthier communication is not something we learned growing up, especially growing up in a traumatic environment. So if you're stuck in a trauma bond in your marriage or in your relationship, there is hope. And I would love to help you as a complex trauma specialist kind of build a healthy marriage, build the communication styles that help you both feel loved and hopeful at the end of a conversation versus hopeless or lost or unclear.

To begin, goto www.WisdomWithinCt.com to book your phone consult.

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