8 Types of Children Narcissistic Parents Create – Which One Are You?

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Do you ever feel like your role in the family was decided for you, and you’ve been stuck playing it ever since?

Narcissistic parents assign their children roles—like the scapegoat, golden child, or people pleaser—to maintain control and avoid taking responsibility.

These roles shape how we see ourselves and influence our relationships, self-worth, and emotional well-being long into adulthood.

But here’s the truth: You are not your family role. These identities were forced upon you as a survival mechanism, but they do not define your true self.

→ Breaking free starts with recognizing the role you were given and reclaiming the self you were never allowed to have.

In today’s video, I’ll walk you through 8 common roles narcissistic parents create, including:

✅ The Scapegoat – Blamed for everything, carrying guilt and rejection.
✅ The Golden Child – Held to impossible standards, living in a gilded cage.
✅ The Caregiver/Over-Functioner – Managing everyone else’s emotions at the cost of their own.
✅ The Lost Child – Invisible, withdrawn, and struggling to find their place.
✅ The Mascot – Using humor to deflect pain and keep the peace.
✅ The Overachiever/Performer – Chasing success to prove their worth.
✅ The Problem Child – The “identified patient” absorbing all the family’s dysfunction.
✅ The People Pleaser – Conditioned to seek approval and avoid conflict at all costs.

🔹 What You Can Do to Break Free:

✔ Recognize that your role is not your real self – It was assigned to you, but you can reject it.
✔ Ask yourself how you’re contributing to the system – Staying in the role keeps the dysfunction alive.
✔ Consider the cost of rejecting the role – What happens if you stop playing the part?
✔ Start defining who YOU are outside of your family’s expectations.

If you’re ready to break free from the role you were assigned and finally live as your true, differentiated self, join my FREE training today:

💬 Have you struggled with one of these roles? Drop a comment below—I’d love to hear your story and support your healing journey.

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Time Stamps:
00:00 - The Roles
03:03 - The Scapegoat
03:44 - The Caregiver
04:10 - The Golden Child
05:23 - The Lost Child
05:55 - The Mascot
06:21 - The Overachiever
06:46 - The Problem Child
07:55 - The People Pleaser
08:32 - Self-Differentiation Tips

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About Jerry Wise:
I’m Jerry Wise, a family systems coach with over 45 years of experience helping individuals break free from toxic family dynamics. My approach to self-differentiation empowers you to let go of the guilt, shame, and emotional entanglements that have held you back. If you’re ready to heal, I’m here to guide you every step of the way.

DISCLAIMER:
This video is not a substitute for professional counseling. Always consult a licensed professional for personalized support.