My Wife Is So Insecure

Описание: Does your wife is so insecure and it's affecting your marriage? Watch Paul gives you some helpful advice regarding insecurity.

Let's talk about this because there's a reason why you're saying that. Maybe she is jealous,
could be that that's what's indicating to you that she's insecure or maybe she expresses it.
And I hate it when I hear psychologists talk about women as being needy or jealous because it's such a subjective judgmental thing to look at a person and label them in it. And it's not a good communication because it doesn't really express what's exactly going on and I don't like to approach marriage problems which obviously this should be considered a marriage problem.

I don't like to consider marriage problems as marriage problems that you have to deal with
one at a time. It's not my thing. My thing is very simple. If your marriage is really functioning
well then you're going to be happy and the flaws that exist both in yourself and in your wife are not important and not worthy of being addressed. I mean it's true. Some people write to us at The Marriage Foundation and you can too if you'd like to and they go, "Oh, my husband always walks in front of me and I say to him, 'why can't you slow down?' And he gets mad at me," and it's like really?

It means that your marriage as a whole isn't really what you wanted when you got married. So I'm going to ask you, what did you want when you got married? And I'm going to tell you what you should have wanted. You should have wanted two things. You should have wanted to be
happier than you've ever been in your life and happier than yesterday every single day. And in order to achieve that happiness and this is the key, you should have been learning how to experience unconditional love. I mean you could have anything in this world but the one thing that matters is unconditional love, everything else you can buy.

You can't buy love which is ironic because it's the one thing that we are absolutely equipped for is unconditional love. We got it from our mothers in some fashion or another and when we're looking to get married that's what we're looking for subconsciously. There are two parts of us.
There's the biological part sort of an animal part and then there's the soul part of us, and that soul part of us is not like you have a soul. You are a soul actually, you have a body and that soul
needs to be fulfilled just like the body needs to survive needs food, shelter, protection against threats. The soul has a more deeply seated need for love and it is love at the same time and that's where marriage comes in.

If you really learn how to work your marriage and how to bring those two things to the fore
and work on those two things. Then your wife's insecurity will disappear because she will feel protected which is sort of the biological need that she has and why she married you. And the other part, the deeper part will be fulfilled that part for love because that's what she needs too. So it's easy to say, "Oh, my wife is needy, clingy, jealous, blah blah blah blah. What do I do?" I'll tell you what you do. You fulfill her. You ever hear the expression you put in a light the darkness has to go.

See this aspect of her as darkness and your love and expressions of that love, and I don't mean, "Oh honey, don't worry. I love you." That's nonsense but ongoing expressions of love that lets her know in her language that you love her. That's the light coming in and pushing out the darkness and it's your responsibility. Those were the promises that you made when you asked her to marry you. You told her you would love her that there'd be no other, but is that really happening or does your mind wander? Because you know women are very intuitive, they pick up on this stuff. If you're not a hundred percent there that'll make them insecure. So it's on you, I'm just being candid with you being straightforward. It's on you and I hear you know all of these complaints because we live in a very politically charged world with the women's rights and the women's demands and all of that but what I'm talking about transcends all of that.

Your wife won't even care, won't even hear that stuff if you're fulfilling her greatest need for love and protection. That's what it's all about. So my blanket suggestion is learn about marriage, read one of my books. Now, if your marriage is collapsing or if you really want to get into it, get the course for men. But reading one of my books unless your marriage is collapsing and it's heading towards divorce, one of the books is plenty and it'll blow you away how much you learn. All of my stuff is based on solid universal principles so you can trust it.

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