Steamed Hams but it's the early days of AI

Описание: Subtitles available

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Script:

Chalmers: Well, Seymour, what do you have to say about this?
Skinner: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, I have been with the company for ten years.
[Skinner runs to the kitchen, only to find his roast is burnt and gasps in horror]
Skinner: Oh, ye Gods! My roast is ruined! And the soup too! I was just about to make the most succulent dinner, what will my wife say?
[He begins to climb through the window, but Chalmers enters the kitchen.]
Skinner: Superintendent! I was just...uh---just stretching my calves on the windowsill. There, I told you I was fine.
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Mr. Skinner?
Skinner: Uh... ooh! That isn't smoke, it's steam! What do I do?
[Once Chalmers leaves the kitchen, Skinner breathes a sigh of relief, climbs out the window, and runs across the street to Krusty Burger, where buys hamburgers and french fries to replace his burnt roast. He enters the dining room with the fast food on a silver tray.]
Skinner: Superintendent, I am very sorry to trouble you, but the only thing I can think to do is buy you a burger.
Chalmers: I thought we were having steamed clams.
Skinner: Oh no, I said 'steamed hams'. What did you want?
Chalmers: You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?
Skinner: Yes! I'm sorry. I'm not going to take your charity, sir. Here, how about you try one?
Chalmers: Uh-huh. Well, they look just like roast beef.
Skinner: Uh... I don't think that's quite what you had in mind.
Chalmers: Really? Oh... well, I suppose a burger is something that may help me forget what you were saying earlier. A burger is something that might, maybe, someday help me forget you.
Skinner: You heard me! I don't like steamed hams. I don't like roasted hams. I don't like anything that even resembles a roasted ham. It's disgusting.
Chalmers: I see.
[Chalmers takes a bite out of a burger and chews it a little, while Skinner sips his drink.]
Chalmers: You know, I think you've already forgotten I said that.
Skinner: Hohoho, no! I never forget a trick!
Chalmers: Ah, now, I can't argue with that.
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: So why didn't you just make a sandwich?
Skinner: Y- Uh.. you know, the whole reason I bought a roast today is because I had no hams.
Chalmers: And the reason you're eating a burger is because... you have no ham.
Skinner: Yup.
Chalmers: Of course.
[Skinner enters and leaves the kitchen swiftly upon seeing it is now on fire]
Skinner: Well, that was wonderful. My roast is ruined. But my jowls are still intact. The soup is still hot. The french fries are still so very crisp. You know, you are all a very silly, very very silly man.
Chalmers: Yes, I should be--good lord, Skinner. I'm so sorry. I'll get you another cook.
Skinner: No. You'll stop pretending.
Chalmers: Well, what about an alibi?
Skinner: Your name's not Chalmers, that's what we discussed at the restaurant. You're Bart Simpson. The one who does weird stuff. I don't want to be anyone else's alibi.
Chalmers: It's not like--you couldn't set me on fire again and call me an alibi.
Skinner: I never set you on fire again.
Chalmers: Oh. Good. I didn't realize how serious it was.
Skinner: You just keep acting like you care. Just keep having fun.
[They exit the house as the kitchen fire grows larger.]
Agnes: Seymour! I know this is shocking, but I think you and your wife should move out of our house and onto your own property.
Seymour: My wife and I are working on that! Her name's Lisa.
Chalmers: Well, Seymour, if you just start selling a lot of food, I don't see why you can't live on your own property. You could sell all your food in the parking lot of The Kwik-E-Mart.
Seymour: I didn't say that I would--ahem! I'm sorry. If I just have a way to get around his money, I will get him off my back!
[As Chalmers begins heading home, Agnes screams for help, causing Chalmers to look back towards the house. Skinner gives him a thumbs up and a fake smile, causing him to keep walking away. Once Chalmers is out of sight, Skinner rushes back into the house to deal with the fire.]
Agnes: Help! Seymour's on fire!
Skinner: I told you. I don't like steak. And I don't like ham.

Original Transcript: https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Stea...