Opening and Closing to Les Patterson Saves the World VHS (RCA/Columbia/Hoyts, 1988, What If...)

Описание: Rest in Peace Barry Humphries (1934-2023). Sir Les Patterson, Dame Edna Everage, Barry McKenzie and Sandy Stone will dearly miss you.

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In the debut of the “What If…” series, I try to answer the unlikely question of an alternate video history myself, in the form of a somewhat legitimate fashion of the time.

While an under-regarded cult classic today, Les Patterson Saves the World was a box office disaster “of major proportions”, as Jonathan Chissick of Hoyts once said. The movie was also rumoured to have been responsible for future PM Paul Keating ending rorts in the film industry.

However, what if the movie proved Paul and Jonathan wrong and went on to become an unlikely success around the world? Would the film have been released a few years earlier than 1991? And would RCA/Columbia Pictures/Hoyts Video be proud enough to release it on home video? Yes, and yes, and here’s what I think the previews could’ve been.

Preview footage for this episode is brought to you from tapes courtesy of SJT Video (The Lighthorsemen, Kamikaze) and FLEMISHDOG (Robocop, Cherry 2000).

Opening
Warning Screen
RCA/Columbia Pictures/Hoyts Video Logo (w/Coming Attractions Bumper)
No Way Out
Throw Momma from the Train (Hey, they managed to fix their mistake from the Robocop tape!)
Masters of the Universe (According to iMDB, it’s on par with Kevin Smith’s Masters of the Universe series.)
Footrot Flats: The Dog’s Tale
RCA/Columbia Pictures/Hoyts Video Logo (w/Stay Tuned Bumper)
RCA/Columbia Pictures/Hoyts Anti-Piracy Message
M Rating Classification
Hoyts Distribution logo
Start of Film

Closing
End of Film
RCA/Columbia Pictures/Hoyts Video Logo (w/Coming Attractions Bumper)
Cherry 2000
Suspect
Ishtar (The film with a monstrously bloated budget and a slowly improving reputation.)
The Lighthorsemen (Billed as “The Light Horsemen”) (Footage of this film appears in The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles episode "Palestine, October 1917”)
RCA/Columbia Pictures/Hoyts Video Logo (Closing Variant)