The Attachment Style That Ruins Your Career (Even If You're a High Performer)

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Are you working on yourself or building love together as a couple? This is for anyone ready to break unhealthy attachment patterns, build emotional security, and create a foundation for love that feels safe, connected, and built to last.
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You built something real. The degrees. The late nights. The promotions.

So why does success still feel like survival? Why are you exhausted in ways sleep doesn't fix? Why does your team respect you but not actually trust you?

The same adaptation that made you successful is now making you miserable. And it has nothing to do with your work ethic.

In this video:
→ Why high achievers are disproportionately running on insecure attachment
→ The dopamine-for-achievement trade your brain made in childhood
→ What chronic cortisol actually does to your body (heart attack, stroke, autoimmune, insulin resistance)
→ The C-suite collapse pattern: why climbing requires one skill set and staying requires another
→ How avoidant attachment shows up differently for men vs. women at the top
→ Healthy independence vs. avoidant isolation: the interdependence framework
→ Why traditional therapy doesn't work for executives (and what does)
→ Negotiation-driven relationships: how to build trust when everyone wants something from you
→ What secure leadership actually looks like: diligent, not obsessive

You learned early that you could only count on yourself. That pattern got you here. It won't get you further.

CHAPTERS:
0:00 You're about to lose everything you built
2:15 The achievement-attachment connection
4:30 The neurochemical reward system (dopamine vs. oxytocin)
6:45 The cortisol cost: what's happening to your body
9:00 The tells: how I assess for this in executives
11:30 The C-suite collapse pattern
13:15 Men vs. women: the double standard at the top
15:00 Healthy independence vs. avoidant isolation
16:30 How this shows up in meetings, conflict, delegation
18:00 Why therapy didn't work for you
19:15 The core shifts: learning to receive, building trust, regulating differently
21:00 Negotiation-driven relationships
22:30 What secure leadership looks like
24:00 The transformation: from survival mode to actually living

I'm Adam Lane Smith, the Attachment Specialist. I help people understand how their brain learned to bond with others: and how to change it.

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If you’ve struggled in dating or marriage and worry you’re not good enough, worry no more. The Attachment Specialist Adam Lane Smith wrote this guide to show you how to stop fearing abandonment and start building healthy relationships. Through his proven step-by-step method for repairing attachment, Adam will teach you what people really want from you, how to give and receive love without fear, what red flags to avoid, and how you can build a lifetime love with a partner you trust.

Slaying Your Fear - A Book For People Who Grapple With Insecurity
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