Hot n Cold (Magic: The Gathering Parody)

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Is your deck hot or cold? Why not both?

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LYRICS:

I’ll play Wall of Fire
Okay
and a Wall of Frost…

These Izzet decks are all out of control (What do you mean?)
You’ll JTMS, then play Witch
Mind is blown

I don’t see the problem…

Decks that you play should have one central theme
Yours has two—and they are conflicting

How?

Cuz you’re hot and you’re cold
You’re Frost and you’re Bolt
You’ll Flamingly Slash then Glacially Grasp
You’ll Icebind Pillar then Jaya Ballard
If it is so hot, won’t this guy just thaw?

It’s pretend…

You!
You sir really are a sick one
You!
You have really gotta pick one

Cuz you’re hot and you’re cold
You’re Frost and you’re Bolt
You Thing in the Ice then cast a Banefire

I don’t understand how he can stay frozen in a fiery Pyroclasm?
Oh my gosh, is that an iced coffee?

To feel both a burn and then also a freeze
You’d have to be at the North Pole with VD
I’ll Furnace of Rath, then cast Frozen Aether
I can suspend disbelief no more…

Why?

Cuz you’re hot and you’re cold
You’re Frost and you’re Bolt
You Magmadly Jet then cast a Frost Breast
You’ll Lavadly Spike then cast a Frost Titan
Haul some Ember then somehow go “brrr!”

You!
You sir really are a sick one
You!
You have really gotta pick one

Cuz you’re hot and you’re cold
You’re Frost and you’re Bolt
You Incinerate then Glacial Floodplain

Sublimation!
What’s the actual temperature on this plane?

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