Kirsty Webeck's awkward taxi ride | Melbourne International Comedy Festival: The Allstars Supershow

Описание: Kirsty Webeck talks about her awkward taxi ride where her driver thought she was a man. #MICF
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The Opening Night Comedy Allstars Supershow offers a sensational line-up of acts under the shambolic guidance of Aunty Donna. Filmed at Melbourne's Palais Theatre in front of a live audience.

Stream now on ABC iview: https://ab.co/MICF
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Yeah!
Yeah!
Hello!
I was in the supermarket recently, and a small child yelled out at me, "Hey, you look like a man."
And I said, "Can you please tell that to my boss so it's reflected in my pay?"
Just like, boom!
Just, like...
Just got him.
I don't even have a boss, you know?
Like, in your face.
In aisle four, you'll find the tea, coffee, and some sass about the gender pay gap.
I don't mind things like that, though.
Like, sometimes I like to walk into the Myer make-up counter just to see four sales assistants have no idea what the f*** to do.
(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)
I was in an Uber recently, and the driver said to me, "I thought your name was Kirsty."
And I said, "It is."
And I thought, "This is going to be good."
And he said, "Ah. Huh. Yeah. Ah. Yeah, right. It's just I thought Kirsty was a girl's name."
And there was not enough time to explain that gender is a social construct.
So I said... (DEEP, GRAVELLY VOICE) "It is a girl's name!"
And he said, "That sucks, bro."
And he wasn't being a jerk, he was genuinely worried about me.
He was like, "There's a bloke in my car with really cruel parents," you know?
So we had this long, awkward moment where we were just eyeballing each other in the mirror.
And I was just thinking, "Do I have the energy to mess with him?"
And I could see the terror seeping into his eyes.
And I knew that he was thinking, "This is not the way I thought the conversation was going to go."
And then his eyes moved really slowly down south into a VBC – a Visual Breast Check.
And when he got to that area, he just started panicking, and he was going, "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. This is the worst... I'm so embarrassed. I should have checked first."
I was like, "No, do not check. Never check!"
And he was trying to think of a big fix.
So he was just apologising to buy time.
"No, really, honestly. This is on me, not you. Like, I'm... I feel really terrible. Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look like Seth Rogen?"
That was his big fixer!
And I was like, "Seth Rogen?! That's still a gentleman!"
Got my phone out, I had a quick scrawl on Google Images, and I was like, "Oh, alright,
I can kind of see that. Fair enough. No problem."
Five stars!
I've always wanted to be a star.
When I was six years old, in grade one, imagine this face on a potato.
The whole school was running wild in the gym one day, and the principal was trying to regain control.

And she gets up on stage and she goes, "Does anyone have a joke that they'd like to share with the rest of the school?"
And I was like, f***ing yes!
I wasn't a particularly outgoing or confident child either, like, my mum was cutting my hair at the time, so there was no room for cockiness.
None at all!
But the reason I was so desperate to get onto the stage was that I'd heard a joke on the radio that morning that - I need to tell you - I had not understood.
My only point of reference was that it absolutely crushed with the hosts, like, Fitzy, Fluffy and F***o.
They were beside themselves, so I was like,
"I have got to get the word out."
So, the principal chooses me, I'm over the moon, I gallop up onto the stage,
grab the mike, and I go, "How do you make a pool table laugh?
"You stick your hands down its pockets and tickle its balls."
I didn't get the joke, the rest of the school didn't get the joke, but one thing became clear very quickly and that was that Sister Mary got the joke.
She got the joke, she hated the joke. She was furious, she came zooming across that stage like an attack penguin. She was like, "Get down! Get off!"
Beating me down the stairs, grabbing the mic.
Now, what I'm trying to say is never give up on your dreams.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
Let's leave it there.
You've been the best!
I've been Seth Rogan!