S08E03 - Calvin Tan & Brenda Ng - Learning to Live Without Shame

Описание: What does it mean to carry a diagnosis that changes how the world sees you?

In this episode of Clean Your Toilet Podcast, Calvin Tan, HIV advocate, sits down with Brenda Ng, Chief Fun(d) Officer, The Facilitators Project & Forest School coach, for a raw and open conversation about stigma, identity, and what it takes to keep living openly in a world that judges ruthlessly.

Diagnosed with HIV at 19, Calvin grew up navigating rejection long before his diagnosis: from coming out as gay in a traditional household, to losing the sense of safety that family is meant to provide. When HIV entered his life, it didn’t just bring medical realities; it came with years of fear, misinformation, and labels that society is quick to apply.

Calvin speaks candidly about being pushed away by his mother, the silence that followed, and the loneliness of learning to carry something so heavily stigmatised at such a young age. He opens up about dating, disclosure, and the emotional toll of constantly having to decide whether honesty will lead to connection or rejection.

But this is a story about reframing.
About turning a label meant to shame into a filter for truth.
About choosing to live loudly, honestly, and on your own terms.

Together, Calvin and Brenda explore the parts of living with HIV that rarely get airtime:

✨ How stigma quietly shapes self-worth and relationships
✨ Why disclosure is not just about honesty, but about safety and power
✨ The emotional exhaustion of constantly educating others
✨ What it means to take responsibility for your health without living in shame
✨ How advocacy begins when silence becomes unbearable

Calvin’s story reminds us that some of the heaviest burdens people carry are the ones society refuses to talk about properly.

If you’ve ever felt reduced to a label
If you’ve ever been told that you are “too much” or “not enough”
If you’ve ever had to find your own way to keep going when the world seems to hold you back

This conversation will challenge what you think you know and invite you to listen more carefully.

🧼 You are not the worst thing that happened to you.
🚽 Labels lose power when they are spoken out loud.
💛 And the stories we don’t tell are often the ones that teach us how to live.

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#StoriesWeDontTell #LivingWithHIV #StigmaAndShame #HumanStories #Singapore #Podcast