Should Christians Separate? - Pt. 2

Описание: (0:00) Hey, I'm Kimberly Holmes, CEO of Marriage Helper, and this is the second video in our series of: “Should Christians Separate?” In the first video, we covered what I believe are the questions behind the question when someone's asking that. When they're saying, “Should a Christian separate?” there's really probably an underlying reason they're asking that question, a greater question behind the question. I believe that there is three things that I've thought of so far that people are really asking when they're asking that. The first is they're looking for a reason to separate. They're looking for the Bible, or Scripture, or a person to approve reasons they've already in their mind of: “I should separate.” For more on that, be sure to see video one, but in this video, we're going to be talking about the second question behind the question I believe people are looking for which is: “My husband or my wife is wanting to leave, they're wanting out of the marriage, and I don't want them to leave, so I'm looking for reasons Christians should not separate so that I can share that with my husband or my wife to get them to stay.”

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(1:06) Here is what I want to encourage you with. If that is your situation, don't. You might be thinking, "What do you mean don't? That's my one out. We're both Christians, and maybe if I can appeal to my spouse in the sense of our religion and our beliefs, then it will convict them so much that they won't want to leave, that they would feel too guilty to leave because they don't want to live in sin, therefore I can get them to stay." Here's what's actually going to happen. If you start looking for Scriptures, looking for reasons, Googling all of that kind of stuff for all of the reasons God says to not separate, and then you shove that in your husband or your wife's face, and you say, "See, these are all the reasons God's going to be mad at you, or unhappy with you. Here's all the reasons you're going to be sinning if you leave me." How do you really think that's going to play out?

Do you think that all of a sudden they're going to look at this information, and they're going to say, "You know what? You're right. I shouldn't, I can't. I'm just going to stay." Probably not. More than anything, they're probably going to look at that and say, "I feel like you're even trying to pressure me more, therefore, this is just more reason for me to leave." Or, in the small chance that they do look at that and they say, "You know what? You're right. God doesn't want me to do that,” then they are probably going to stay, but they don't really want to. They're going to stay and resent it. They're going to stay, but your marriage is still going to be miserable, and I don't think that's really what you're looking for either. It's never a good idea to take verses and try and shove them down your spouse’s throat to try and get them to do what you want them to do.

(2:52) You might be thinking, "Well, what am I supposed to do? Am I just hopeless here? Should I just allow myself my spouse to leave and for us to be separated? Is that what you're saying to do?" Not at all. I think there's a better way to handle this, though. Here's my recommendation to you. I recommend and encourage you to reach out to someone who is a good friend to your spouse. Or, a pastor that your spouse respects, or a mentor that your spouse respects and likes, and has a relationship with. Not someone that you have a relationship with. Someone that your spouse has a relationship with. Here's where it can get kind of difficult because you want to make sure that you don't share too much about your situation so that your spouse gets angry with the fact that you're talking about your marriage and the separation, and all of the things going on that they believe are private, but you also want to be able to share enough with someone you trust that they understand what's going on.


You can also read the transcript here: https://www.marriagehelper.com/should...

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