Let’s talk about retroactive jealousy, the uneasy, sometimes obsessive feeling of jealousy over your

Описание: Let’s talk about retroactive jealousy, the uneasy, sometimes obsessive feeling of jealousy over your partner’s past relationships or “situationships”. It’s not always about what they’re doing now but rather an anxious attachment style and a deeper sense of insecurity. When you don’t feel fully secure or “good enough” in yourself, your mind might go overboard focusing on past relationships that actually have no relevance on the present.

Retroactive jealousy often comes down to a fear of abandonment. It’s that voice in our head that wonders, “What if I’m not as good as the people they’ve been with before?” But the past isn’t a threat, and the person they’re choosing to be with right now is you.

How do you start healing from retroactive jealousy? Here are some tips:

Remind yourself that the past can’t hurt you. Focus on the bond you’re building now, which is stronger and more real than any memory.

Practice self-compassion. Jealousy often highlights parts of us that need reassurance and nurturing. Give yourself permission to feel these emotions without judgment.

Have open and honest conversations with your partner. Let them know what you’re feeling—not to make them responsible, but to give yourself the freedom to be vulnerable. When you’re both in it together, the shame and anxiety around these feelings start to fade and the reassurance can help.

Remember, retroactive jealousy isn’t about them and what they’re doing or done wrong, it’s about understanding your own needs and fears, then working through them in the relationship. Ib @the.conscious.psychologist 🫶🏼

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