spa regulation. serbians. sotomayor. // Auto-Tune the News #4

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Urgent issues call for equally urgent harmonies, and they are provided by politicians, pundits, and gorillas alike in this chapter of news opera.

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Lyrics:

EG: Ay, nah nah, hey hey, nah nah ay oh
MG: I agree
EG: Where all the shawties on the court?

JS: It's ridiculous, one woman on the Supreme Court, uh, doesn't seem right to me.

EG: Ain't nobody have a breakfast with all sausage and no eggs.

MG: We need a shawty with a hot body and sexy legs.

EG: When the court convenes it's an ancient sausage festival.

MG: Only two ovaries, sixteen testicles..

BB: There are so many qualified women out there.

MG: Qualified to get low in they apple-bottomed robe.

MB: I completely agree with you.

EG: And I complete agree, too.

MG: How does Ginsburg stand being the only woman who ain't a man?

BB: Judge Ginsburg said, she's really very lonely without another woman.

MG, EG, BB: Without another woman, lonely without another woman!

EG: I know what it's like with a woman gone, cryin in the nude with the curtains drawn.

MB: Breaking news!

EG, MG: Oh snap! News is broken! Breaking news, in ya face!

MB: Obama has picked Sonia Sotomayor.

EG, MG: She's a shawty, She's a Boricua!

EG: Jurisprudent!

JS: With soft thighs!

MG: And other soft features, that Ginsburg can appreciate, stayin up late, makin sure to thank
heaven above.

EG: because she ain't

All: lonely without another woman, lonely without another woman!

EG: Listen up, y'all, Joe Biden's got a shout out!
This one goes out to all the serbians
And also the ladies
But mostly the Serbians

JB: And until the Serbian people
Look themselves in the face
Understand what their leaders have done
And convinced them of
Until that moment arrives
Serbian people will not
Be able to shed this notion of victimization
That all of their leaders prey upon
And manipulate them with
Until that moment arrives
Until the Serbian people look themselves in the face
Until that moment arrives
Until that moment arriiiiiiiiives

KC: April showers bring May flowers
But what do May flowers bring?
AG: Romance for a shawty
KC: Possibly lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf::
KC: Lead poisoning
AG: ::Barf, barf:: I'm gettin sick like
::Barf, barf, barf, barf, barf::
KC: Before you dig in and start to enjoy all the
Fruits and vegetables of your labor
AG: Shawty
KC: You'd better get your soil tested first
AG: Oh
KC: Your soil tested first
AG: Oh, I live in the ghetto
So I'll expect the worst
KC: Paint chippings and old pesticides
May be buried insiiiiide
AG: Me, oh my
KC: Raising the level of lead in the soil
The tests are inexpensive
And some local health departments
Do them for freeeeeeee
AG: Even for a talking head thug like me?
KC: Once you're in the clear
Mary, Mary quite contrary
Plant away
AG: Okay
And when asked how does your garden grow
Tell them it's healthy, green and lead-free
AG: I'll say it's healthy, green and lead-free, shawty
KC: Healtheeeeeee
AG: Healtheeeeeee, believe me
I ain't tryna munch on a poison zucchini

NG: This bill actually has the secretary of energy
Regulating jacuzzis
Now, the ideastrikes me
As close to being nuts

AG: I agree--I'm an angry gorilla and that makes me angry

JI: The only jacuzzis this will regulate
Will have to produce 2,500 mega watts of energy

AG: You made me angry with lies
Hurt my angry gorilla pride; I'm angry

NG: On page 233, uh
Line 5: portable electric spas

All: Portable electric spas!

MG: No spa is above the law!

NG: Now, I don't know what a portable electric spa is
I was told it was a jacuzzi
But that's in this bill

AG: So it's true!
I'm no longer angry at you
My original anger's renewed

JI: We will give you a hot spa
That is energy efficient
I hope that doesn't offend you

AG: He might have a point
My anger's makin a switch
Cuz you're being a little b*$&
But maybe not
Maybe you're just defending freedom and justice for jacuzzis
ohhhhhh
What's this? a single tear that is wet that i shed

When an angry gorilla cries
Who's gonna be there to dry his eyes?
And when an angry gorilla's depressed
Who's gonna heal him with a soft caress?
Ooh ooh ah ah, the tears are rolling down my cheeks
Ooh ooh ah ah, liquid sorrow that my eyes excrete

And I'm a soulja, but a soulja's got feelings,
Don't know whom to lend my anger to,
And that's why I'm crestfallen and confused

Shawty