If I Put Me First, Am I Selfish? Self-Love, Culture & Reinvention for Women

Описание: My whole life was curated by design to create safety… but safety was my parents’ trauma.”
We’re told self-love is selfish. That “good” women, daughters, wives and mothers put everyone else first — family, partner, community — and then maybe think about themselves. But what happens when that script leaves you resentful, exhausted, and living a life that was never truly yours?
In this powerful episode, Dr. Payal Beri sits down with Dr. Jasmine Escalera — Spiritual Neuroscientist, “Queen of Reinvention,” and founder of The Courage Crew, a global community for women reinventing their lives at any age
Jasmine shares her journey from growing up in the projects of Brooklyn in the 80s and 90s, to checking every box of the “safe” life (degree, six-figure job, marriage)… and realizing she was living out her parents’ trauma instead of her own truth. After divorce, a repeat heartbreak, and a move from New York to Miami, she rebuilt her life through radical self-love, boundaries, and daily choices to pick joy over fear.
If you’ve ever felt guilty for setting boundaries, afraid to disappoint your family, or torn between being the “good” one and being yourself, this conversation will hit home.

🔍 In This Episode, We Talk About:
Safety vs. self-betrayal
Growing up in the projects of Brooklyn
Giving from your core vs. your overflow
Guilt, boundaries & collectivist cultures
Armor, vulnerability & failed relationships
Checklist life vs. chosen life
Resentment, parents & self-acceptance

“I choose”: transformation in tiny moments
Why reinvention starts with a single daily choice (“I deserve more than survival”) and can begin with small, bite-sized acts — not dramatic life overhauls.

Excuses, nervous system & comfort zones

Community, allies & not cutting everyone off
Why “if you’re not on my level, you’re cut” is another form of toxicity — and how to invite some people to grow with you while also finding new community.


Dreaming of partnership after self-love
Jasmine’s honest fear and desire: bringing the level of vulnerability she has with trusted women into a future romantic partnership — and what it would mean if self-love became a shared value, not a private struggle.

00:00 – Safety, parents’ trauma & growing up in Brooklyn projects
10:00 – Self-love vs “selfish,” boundaries & guilt with family and friends
20:00 – Marriage, checklists & realizing she was living her parents’ script
30:00 – Moving to Miami, resentment toward parents & radical self-acceptance
40:00 – Reinvention, micro-moments, nervous system, allies & community
50:00 – Single by choice, future partnership, healing with parents & closing



Connect with Dr. Payal Beri:
📸 Instagram: instagram.com/dr.payalberi
🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@payalberi?su...
🌐 RK Empathy: rkempathy.com
💼 LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/payalberi
🎤 Book a Talk: payalberi.com

🎙 Podcast by MicMoguls.com

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