Patterns of a man’s unhealed inner child

Описание: The way we love as men is often shaped long before we realize it.
When core emotional needs go unmet in childhood — for safety, acceptance, validation, or connection — the inner child adapts. He learns strategies to feel loved, but those strategies often follow us into adulthood. What once kept us safe now quietly runs our relationships — disguising wounding as love.

1️⃣ Fixing, changing, or “saving” othersBelieving love is showing up to solve problems, change someone, or rescue them. Beneath this compulsion is a boy who learned that care came with conditions — attention and affection were earned by being useful or helpful. The man now unconsciously equates fixing or being indispensable with being worthy of love, carrying the memory that his own needs weren’t enough to be seen or valued.

2️⃣ Seeking constant validationRelying on approval, praise, or recognition to feel worthy — sometimes needing it just to take action or make decisions. This stems from a boy who wasn’t fully seen for simply existing. The man remembers that without external affirmation, his presence didn’t matter, and so he now unconsciously chases validation as a substitute for unconditional acceptance, often doubting his own guidance.

3️⃣ Withholding or over-givingEither shutting down emotionally to protect himself, or giving excessively to prove value. Deep down, the boy feared being a burden or rejected for expressing needs. The man oscillates between self-denial and self-sacrifice, not realizing these strategies once kept him safe, but now quietly limit connection, intimacy, and the ability to lead or love authentically.
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For those ready to explore this more deeply, there’s a space where I guide men in this work.

🌿 Depth & Healing Session — 60 minutes devoted to noticing the patterns holding you back and reconnecting to your truth.
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