“Isn't It Romantic?” -Song of Songs

Описание: By: Rev. Robin A. Riggs, PhD.
For: 2/14/1999, First Church of God, Allegan Michigan.

Text: Song of Songs 7:10-12

Instance of romance in the Bible:
(R = Romantic; P = Plutonic/not romantic)

R- Adam & Eve (Adams reaction when he first saw Eve).
P= Abraham & Sarah (He let Pharaoh take her and didn’t protest. God had to intervene.)
R= Isaac & Rebekah (Love at first sight.)
R= Jacob & Rachel (Watered her sheep - equivalent to carrying her books, or laying his coat across a puddle- Worked 7 years from her father to marry her; time flew by for him. But father in law tricked him with the wrong sister. Worked another 7 years for her. Heartbroken at her death for the rest of his life.
R= Obed & Ruth (Relationship cultivated through kindness)
P= David & Bathsheba (Adventurous, but wrong. This is not romance. It’s one of those things that looks like romance but soon shows its true & tragic nature.)
R= Solomon & his bride. (Song of Solomon. A type of love like Christ & the church. But also a literal romance. Sometimes gets too erotic for the senses of some people who don’t realize that romance and eroticism in the RIGHT CONTEXT is a great gift of God.
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Men: How do you do on the romance meter?
1. Do you say “I love you” with words?
(Full story of Ole & Olga in vid) a woman asked her husband why he never told her he loved her, he replied, “when we were married I told you that I loved you, ad if I ever change my mind, I’ll let you know.”
(Full story about Tommy & photo in vid) A young man brought in a photo to be copied, on the back of the picture it was signed “IF we should ever break up, I want this picture back.”
How often do you say it with words?
How do you say it? Do you express appreciation for how she dresses, cooks, etc? Do you have a nickname or term of endearment? Write poems or love notes?

2. Do you say “I love you” with service? Chores, errands, random acts of senseless kindness

3. Did you say “I love you” with gifts? Flowers, candy, affirmation, praise.

4. With special dates? Dress up events, dinner out, movie, play?

5. Time together? Walk the dog, sit in a park, at a cafe, talking, holding hands (without expectation), trip to a zoo, park, downtown, brach, picnic, sunset?

6. With affection & intimacy. Cuddle in front of a fire. Hugs. Caresses.

7. Working together on a joint mission? Volunteering together at a soup kitchen, nursing home, walkathon, etc.

Ladies, sit back & relax. I’m mostly talking to the men from now on. Mostly to husbands, but singles and youth should listen up.

Men, repeat after me: (Have a sweetheart with you? look into her eyes) How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I I’ve thee to the depth & breadth & height. My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight for the ends of being & ideal Grace. … I love thee with the breath, smiles, tears, of all my life: - and if God choose, I shall love thee better after death. (Elizabeth Barrett Browning)

Doug Fields: “The lack of dating & romane is one of the major causes of a broken relationship. marriages usually don’t collapse overnight. They become bankrupt radially because they lack daily deposits of love, communication, & affirmation… if you want to add life to your marriage, perhaps even save its life, you’d better do whatever it takes to bring romance & dating back into it.”
Husbands, no matter how long you’ve been married, you can still date & woo & court your wife.

Men & women tend to view romance differently. I don’t want to stereotype anyone, but we have to face the fact that there are differences in how men & women see & experience romance. Many men have become confused because they thought they were doing something romantic, and it turned out wrong. Many women feel the romance has gone out of their relationships. Often men equate romance with sex. But women generally equate romane with a relationship that is growing, maturing & making her feel special. Whether or not it leads to sex. Men tend to see romance as requiring a grand gesture. There’s nothing wrong with memory-making times. But most women want us to ask them what their pleasure is abd then do it. For most women, consistency & kindness by men is what is most romantic.

Romance is not a test we suddenly cram for. It’s a daily exercise. Seizing the moment to show love & affection. Humdrum routine often takes over.

Our wives want to be romanced. I you do’t now how, ask her. You’ll be surprised. Consistency is what counts. Ask questions, learn together, don’t just think about candlelit dinners. It’s about helping with the little things, offering praise, a tender look- these build romance.
Some guys have all the romantic flair of a wet rag. Wives don’t feel loved just because he brings home a paycheck. Need guidance? Read Song of Songs.

Romance is having fun with your mate. We often think there must be some kind of agenda anytime we get together. Let your wife know you are with her just to be with her. Not dwelling on the negative quirks.