NUMB - A Visual Poem

Описание: This is the first time I've ever shared my writing to anyone, let alone the public. It is a representation of the emotional struggle I've had with my mental health this year. This is raw, unfiltered and I hold this very close to my heart so I hope everyone enjoys. I plan to share more poetry like this in future, but I saved this to end off 2020. Hopefully this can be more or less left behind in this butthole of a year.
Remember that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and you can get there if you persevere!
I love you guys,
~Cher
...

I’m not sure how long it’s been
Since I’ve laid dormant in my body
Just watching the days pass me by

Everything just feels like water
Slipping through my grip
Pooling beneath me
Carrying my away from what’s real

Most days, I just want to stay afloat
Just enough that my nose peaks through the surface
But my ears are still deafened
By the low murmurs of nothingness

Other days, I slip below the tension
And I stay
Because solitude is more peaceful than the desperate thrash of survival

Sometimes it’s just too loud
And all I hear is the bass
Or perhaps,
It’s just my heart trying to escape

I don’t know if I prefer depression or numbness ...
Numbness is more sinister
It takes away the good
And the bad
So bad doesn’t feel so bad
But nothing feels good.
Nothing feels good enough to do
But nothingness doesn’t feel so hollow
It makes the bad bearable enough to procrastinate changing
And the good not worthwhile to chase

for now, numb is preferable
Because sadness makes me impulsive
And happiness gives me anxiety

Numb is stable, predictable, comfortable

So I stay
Like it’s my vacation home
From the voices that inhabit my brain

...

Filmed by Cherchair with the help of Gris
Edited by Cherchair
Written by Cherchair
Music by Jonny Easton - "Summit"