I DON’T LIKE MY MIND - Leafpool PMV (TW IN DESC)

Описание: Poor Leafpool, man… but uh, also happy (early) mother’s day to her LOL

!! TW (video): animal violence & death, flashing lights, shaky camera !!
!! TW (song lyrics): emetophobia and intrusive thoughts, elaboration on this further down in the description** !!
If I missed any please let me know ♥️

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Yet another color palette Warrior Cats project!! This time for my girl, Leafpool. This idea has been bouncing around in my head for a while - and for months I’ve just kept picking it up, dropping it, etc. I’ve been working on it for so long that I can no longer tell if it’s any good or not LOL, so I’m happy to be done with it. Ah, but I guess it all works out for a reason, since I'm uploading this on the anniversary of my first YouTube video!

Thank you all for your support for this channel this year, & I hope you all like this PMV : )

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** The emetophobia lyric is about getting sick & throwing up after eating an entire cake. This song can be interpreted as a song about an EDs / addiction. I always thought it was about fame and artistry… but you might come to a different conclusion.
The song also focuses on intrusive/negative thoughts, and being quite hard on oneself. Take heed of the warnings before watching.

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Many of this PMV’s events are not in chronological order - notably Hollyleaf’s deathberry scene is after the gathering in canon, not before as in this PMV. This was initially due to misremembering canon while storyboarding, but after that realization… I just ended up committing to it, because I liked how it fit with the song & timing. For canon's sake, one can interpret this whole PMV as just Leafpool’s disjointed memories of the events, and not an accurate & chronological retelling.

On that note - I also took artistic license with Leafpool’s emotional reactions to these events. Canonically, I got the impression (do correct me if I’m wrong - it's been awhile since I read PO3 haha) that she was quite calm about everything. In the sense that the poor thing already felt so defeated, so miserable, etc., that her reaction was one of numbness and depressed acceptance.

But like, if I was Leafpool… I would be a wreck! What a feeling of helplessness and guilt that one would feel in her position. Tormented by the death of Cinderpelt (and her role in it), tormented by StarClan’s mixed messaging, tormented by the secret (and its later reveal & consequences). Unable to have anything for herself - robbed of being a mother, a mate, (and later) a doctor, which is what connects her to her culture/religion/“purpose”... Everyone she loves is constantly being threatened by violence and prophecies, everyone’s lives are getting worse, and all she can do is watch. Simultaneously having been unable to do anything, and yet feeling responsible for everything. “I did nothing wrong and at the same time I made every possible mistake”… kinda vibe. Am I making sense? 😭

So… yeah. Leafpool kept it cool in canon. But in my PMV she gets to cry a lot about everything. I would if I were her!!

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General inspiration & video recs that are related to this PMV:

   • I Don't Like My Mind - Fionna and Cake PMV   - this was the only fanart project on YouTube I could find, that uses this song. I love this artist’s style!
new!! just found this one    • I don’t like my mind //mouthwashing animatic   for mouthwashing that uses this song!
   • NO MORE BIRTHDAYS 🍂 LEAFPOOL PMV   - This PMV lives rent-free in my mind, I think about that last frame of Leafpool crying all the time…
   • The Moon Doesn't Mind | Hollyleaf COMPLETE...   - I’ve been obsessed with this project since the MAP call - so beautiful!! Mitski’s TLIIASAW album (and this song in particular) reminds me of a lot of Lord Huron’s work.
   • Oom Sha La La ❁ Leafpool Scrapbook PMV   - so creative & brilliant. I was rewatching it while working on this, and the “I’m tired of my mind…” line struck a chord
new!!    • drunk walk home ✸ leafpool warriors ✸ anim...   ... idk how i missed this before but literally got it in my recommendations just today and it's so good. if you want more leafpool mitski content go here!!
new!!    • leafpool pmv - i want wind to blow   idk how i didn't include this one before - so, so good. & shows the more cynical & book-accurate Leafpool!

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Song: I Don’t Like My Mind by Mitski
Programs: Paint Tool Sai (drawing) & Clip Studio Paint (animation & editing)
Instagram: @gak_illustrates

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Characters (in order of appearance, if multiple then Left to Right [L→R], aforementioned characters omitted from lineup):
Leafpool
Cinderpelt (ghost)
L→R: Brackenfur, Sorreltail, Squirrelflight, Brambleclaw
Cinderpelt (alive)
Crowfeather
L→R: Jaykit, Hollykit, Lionkit
L→R: Firestar, Sandstorm
Jayfeather
Lionblaze
L→R: Ashfur, Hollyleaf
Somewhat canonical ghost scene, L→R: Yellowfang, Bluestar, Mothflight, Lionheart, Spottedleaf
Gathering, L→R: Leopardstar, Blackstar, Onestar
L→R: Nightcloud, Breezepelt