Sexual Abuse and Narcissism / The Truth About Parental Alienation

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Sexual Abuse and Narcissism - The Truth About Parental Alienation

TRIGGER WARNING - the contents are upsetting. Please ensure you have support before watching.

As discussed in the video on enmeshment and infantilization, narcissistic parents can keep their children unhealthily close. They can use them as an emotional crutch, over sharing details of your relationship with them, as well as keeping them physically close by sharing a bed. They stunt their independence by acting the victim and manipulating the child with the reward of being their “best friend” and threat of being pushed out. The child, desperate for the attention the narcissist is unable to give them, will “perform” as requested in the hope of being loved.

The narcissist can easily abuse this. And many will. The child becomes a surrogate partner to the narcissist. They become enmeshed with one another. The child will snub peer relationships to be with their parent. They will begin to feel responsible for the mental well-being of the narcissist parent, a heavy burden given that the narcissist is never happy. The narcissist will use the exact same tactics they used on you. Gaslighting them so they aren’t quite sure what the truth is anymore. Projecting their own feelings of anger and frustration at the ex onto the child. Rejecting and neglecting for long periods, watching the child jump through hoops to lift their spirits. Then lavishing attention on them with gifts and praise when they “perform” as expected. This desire in the child to please their parent coupled with the narcissists need to control and use without boundaries can lead to inappropriate behaviour. A hug which may make the child feel uncomfortable but makes the parent happy, can become accepted as the child is so eager to please. The narcissist will exploit this further and further. The resulting shame felt by the child, adds to the bond between them. The narcissist convinces the child telling anyone would destroy everything and they would never see each other again. The child, still desperate for their attention, keeps the secret which alienates them further from everyone else. Even if the narcissist doesn’t abuse the child themselves, they may put the child in danger with another individual by focusing solely on their own needs and not those of the children.

The narcissist sees sex as a purely animalistic act. As primal as feeding. Therefore to them, sex with their child is acceptable. The narcissists NEEDS sex. Without the partner to fulfill this need, they will turn to the nearest and easiest supply. Gender is not an issue. Nor is age. Children left with narcissistic parents are at very real risk of being sexually abused. I would even go so far as to state that if you recognise any of the behaviours identified in this and the enmeshment video (link above), talk to your children about appropriate boundaries and safe sexual health. Where possible go for supervised contact.

This video is not to shock. Not all narcissistic parents will sexually abuse their children. But all narcissistic parents have this mindset which making sexual abuse and narcissism a very real possibility.

If you have any concerns please do contact your local social services or child services department. If you prefer to discuss anything first I am happy to listen and advice. Email me at [email protected].