Berne — Une suite en saisons, N.65 - Nori (2023-2025)

Описание: Dedicated to a person named "Bern".

I can't help but see you as beautiful as the seasons. As the seasons pass, every person changes, and that's something either beautiful or rotten in the eye of the beholder. Your puffed-up eyes tell a lot of stories that I wanted to hear yet unable to be shared. You really are a person of wonders, don't you think? I can't help but wonder who you really are. I can't help but wonder if I could understand you deeper than a thousand books. I can't help but wonder... what have you been doing without my presence? Without your presence, I proceeded to compose something. Whatever I find beautiful about you is embedded inside the suite. If I ever begin to understand your words that you write inside your novels, I hope you begin to understand the melodies I compose inside my music. Even if we're not together, or never forever, I love you as always. I guess that concludes to the end to this chapter.

00:10 - I. Summer — Au milieu des fievres

Turns out, I used the piece I composed last year for the first part of the suite. The piece was dedicated to a VTuber before, and it was meant to be put in another suite — where I thought of making a suite about the concept of pictures at an exhibition. It never happened, unfortunately, and since I was making the Berne suite, I thought, maybe I should put this piece here instead, so that it won't be left unreleased. It had 3 inspirations — Beethoven, Chopin and Scriabin. The only thing I hated when I was composing the piece... was that it was repetitive. In every repetition I would do, the techniques would be different, and the melodies would stay the same. I just wish I knew how to compose freely, where I could manage the modulations in a piece, in fact, modulations make the piece move. Back to the repetition topic, it was more like a variation. I had received some criticism before that my pieces were too repetitive. The thing is... I didn't really know where to go, so I put it that way...

05:05 - II. Autumn — Feuilles en berceuse

I used the theme I composed back then which was titled "Mountain Lullaby". Mountain Lullaby is a piece I composed 2 years ago, but I ended up not publishing it as it felt like it still isn't finished, plus the way it was composed is really bugging me off. Mainly influenced by Liszt's Au bord d'une source, that's the reason why I kept the piece. The story behind it, however, I composed it for another person I liked, who was living in Baguio. She seemed to like my hair back then, as it was long and looked... fluffy. That person is a cosplayer, but the relationship was not that good unfortunately. It only lasted for days. The way I made an effort to compose something only went to waste. It really is a beautiful waste though. And it is something I wish to improve soon.

10:20 - III. Winter - La neige et la silence

Composing Winter, I used the themes of a piece I composed last year, from the same suite I am supposed to compose — the concept of pictures at an exhibition. The dedicatee was also a VTuber, named Mikazuki Sonata. Mika-san, who I mostly call "Mikmok", for the funny, is a cool streamer who I watched 2 or 3 years ago. I gave her a compliment before, telling her that "she's the most delinquent streamer I know". She really took that as a good compliment, and that's how we sort of kinda got close in Twitch. Anyways, Winter uses the theme I composed named "Water Lily", and if you get to hear it one day, there might be a part in the piece where it sounded like water rippling through your ears.

Honestly speaking, while I am composing the piece, I can't help but think of what I created becoming the worst thing I had ever done. It had a lot of repetitions... it really shows a lot that I can't really compose well at the moment, since I am inside a composer's block. I even tried to compose something original, but whatever notes I put in, it would sound bad, and so I had to scrap it all out over and over again, repeatedly. However, as I have finished organizing everything and finished composing the piece, I can't help but be in tears, thinking "this has got to be the most beautiful thing I have ever done". Everyone would feel that way, and it really hit differently every single time. It was beautiful. Just like the dedicatee.

21:10 - IV. Spring — Renaitre doucement

The only thing left for me to compose is Spring. I reconsidered using an unpublished piece I composed last year, titled "Night Walks". If I remember correctly, I was inspired by Debussy's La fille aux cheveux de lin, and so, out of the blue I composed something simple. Also included in the supposed suite in the concept of pictures at an exhibition, I just left it there since it did not feel worthy to be uploaded at that time, and it lacked something. I proceeded to recompose this piece again, and it turned out the way I wanted it to be. I wanted it to shimmer.