Evan Turner 30 Points Full Highlights (3/13/2015)

Описание: Evan Turner is far enough along in his NBA career where we can now make proclamations about the overall quality of his career. Since he's unlikely to play a major role on any more teams, we get to evaluate his stints in Philly, Boston, and Portland (Indiana and Atlanta don't count because he didn't appear in many games for either team) to decide which was the best.

I don't feel like doing any evaluation right now so I'm just going to go with my gut and say that Celtics Evan Turner was prime Evan Turner. Prime Evan Turner wasn't that good but he tricked the Blazers into shelling out big bucks to him in free agency, so he was definitely good at pretending to be good.

Original description below:
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Evan Turner: Alien?

You may scoff, but by the time you are done reading this carefully reasoned description, you will be convinced that Evan Turner is not a human being, as the mainstream media would have you believe, but an extraterrestrial from outer space.

Exhibit A: His eyes were like super bugged out in every thumbnail image I got for this video. You can see it for yourself: his eyes are not human sized. Hmmmm. Why would that be, I wonder? Is it because HE IS ACTUALLY AN ALIEN?

Exhibit B: He’s always wearing green colored clothing to distract us simple-minded humans from the greenness of his skin. It doesn’t really show up clearly in the thumbnail or the video, but his skin is definitely green. Not a “foliage green” really, more of a “money green”. Humans come in a bunch of colors, but green is not one of them. Evan Turner is an alien.

Exhibit C: The first two should be enough to convince you, but if you need a third, I can send you an authentic picture of his spaceship.

There you have it. Evan Turner may be a good basketball player, but he is also of a species not our own, a species from another world. 30 points is impressive for an Earthling, perhaps less so for a card-carrying member of the alien race.
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