Does A.J's Telepathic Dragon's First Chapter Work? The "Retelling" Test in Action

Описание: Does Ariel's Telepathic Dragon's First Chapter Work? The "Retelling" Test in Action
Wednesday Directed Writing Group Episode 6b

Does your reader actually understand what you wrote? The only way to know for sure is to ask them to tell it back to you.

In this directed writing session, we put member Ariel Jai’s opening chapter to the ultimate test: The Retelling. Instead of asking for general opinions, Adam asks a volunteer (Ciara) to recount the plot from memory. This reveals exactly which plot points landed, which emotional beats were missed, and whether the "transmission" of the story was successful.
The story in question? A fantasy take on Coachella featuring a soul-sucking demon boy band ("Escape With Me"), a dragon bouncer named Benny, and a telepathic bounty hunter named Remma.

In this episode:
✦ The Retelling Demo: Watch a live example of how to extract naturalistic feedback from a reader.
✦ The "Oof" Moment: How a reader's hesitation reveals a lack of clarity regarding the telepathic magic system.
✦ Agency vs. Banter: Identifying when a "push-your-buttons" dynamic accidentally robs a female protagonist of her agency.
✦ Anachronistic Fantasy: Mixing modern concepts (music festivals, security tunics) with high fantasy elements effectively.

Key Concepts:
✦ Transmission Errors: If the reader can't retell it, you didn't write it clearly enough.
✦ Positive Negatives: Why it is a good thing when a reader forgets a minor character (like the coordinator).
✦ Internality: The importance of showing a character's emotional reaction when an ex-lover (Rosanna) appears on the page.

A.J.'s Current work-in-progress:
This story is in response to readers who enjoyed my debut and wanted to know how two side characters from the book had fallen in love. It's about a powerful & gentle warrior and a mad and tortured king.

Connect with A.J. Braun:
IG link: https://www.instagram.com/ajbraunauth...
TikTok link: https://www.tiktok.com/discover/ajbra...
Author website: https://www.ajbraunauthor.com/
Goodreads page:   / 7777464.a_j_braun  

Want more writing help?
✔ Live online writing workshops
✔ Directed writing groups
✔ Anthology contests for emerging authors

👉 Start your novel journey here: https://bardsy.com

Subscribe for more writing lessons!
👍 Like this video
🔔 Subscribe for writing craft deep dives

#writingtips #characterdevelopment #novelwriting #amwriting #bardsy #creativewriting #authortube #writingcommunity #storytelling #protagonist #characterarc #fictionwriting #bookwriting #writingskills #howtowrite #writingadvice #nanowrimo #writingtipsandtricks #bookworm #reader #author #writer #novel #writinginspiration #writingmotivation #booktok #writingfeedback