Captain Hook's Retirement ft.

Описание: Track 136 // Length: 3:01 // Style: Comedy // Speed: 118 BPM // Measures: 87 // Loops: 10 // Clips: 6 // Time Taken: 16 days

Pauly B as Captain Cooke
MusicianNrd as Captain Hook
Artwork by Fred Lalas

My first published comedic track! This is a story of Captain Hook attempting to have a smooth retirement after his days as a villainous pirate, when he has a different kind of encounter with his nemesis.

This is a recreation of a silly poem I made back in 2005, when I was still in high school. This is a style that I've always wanted to add to my repertoire, as it's completely different and a perfect way to showcase variety. While this track focuses on the voice aspect, the musical backdrop was still very crucial in the delivery of the mood in this piece, and though minimal with only 7 instrument channels used, it was still very fun and easy to diversify common sounds for a maximized spread.

I play Captain Hook's apparent brother, Captain Cooke, the narrator of the story, and I was very happy to have the talented MusicianNrd to play Captain Hook himself. Our inspirations for our voices vary, as his comes from a character named Foxy from the game "Five Nights at Freddy's", while mine comes from the comedic mind of former Jackass star, Brandon Dicamillo. I feel like this kind of gig comes natural to me, as most of the time on my own, I talk like a pirate just for fun. There's an inside joke going around that the reason for this is because my ancestor was Blackbeard

Thank you so much for checking this out, and I hope it makes you laugh at least a little bit.

Be sure to follow ‪@MusicianNrd‬ on all his socials
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Also, please follow the super talented artist who did the thumbnail art, ‪@fredlalas‬
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LYRICS:

COOKE:
Yar-har, me mateys! I be Captain Cooke!
Ye may have heard o' me infamous brother, Captain Hook
But the tale of his very last days, ye may not have heard
So pull up a chair and relax, as this tale be absurd

The Cap'n be finished plundering the seven seas
And he wished for his adventures to come to an ease
He be tired and hungry for several days
And the winds and the tides took him many ways

Suddenly one day, the ship lands ashore
The Cap'n could finally step out, and walk amongst land once more
Thar in the distance, as Captain Hook blinked
He sees an old tavern with some food and some drink

He struts inside on his pegged leg
And he says to the waiter

HOOK:
I'll be having some eggs
Some rum, some toast, a giant pork roast
And the finest swordfish ye got on the coast

COOKE:
They cooked up his order and served it up fresh
The Cap'n ate his meal like the undead eat flesh
But it be then, when he takes a bite from his bread
Thar in that moment, he started to dread

His throat started hurting, and he began to swell
He finds the young waiter and shouts

HOOK:
What the hell! What have ye done to me toast?!

COOKE:
To the man
And thar on the countertop sees the captain, a jar of Peter Pan

In an allergic rage, he draws out his sword, shouts

HOOK:
This be a mistake ye could not afford!

COOKE:
He slashed to the left, he slashed to the right
And all of the townsfolk couldn't put up a fight

The tavern be cleared, by death and by fear
Thar be no one left to help the buccaneer
He could have been civil, he could have used his head
But because of his actions, the Cap'n will surely be dead

He fell to the ground, as he ran out of air
His throat be as swollen as a Caribbean pear
His vision be fading, and he cannot feel his hands
With one final breath, he shouts

HOOK:
I'LL GET YOU PETER PAAAAAAAAN! dies

COOKE:
The moral be clear and easy to see
Think before ye act, or ye could seize to be
Keep a clear head, don't let yer emotions erupt
Or you, too, could find your end become abrupt

YAR-HAR-HAR-HAR-HAR! YAR-HAR! YO! YO-HO-HAR! coughs Shiver me timbers . . .