Candy Canes & Cutlasses

Описание: Swashbuckling Elves

"If they want a war on Christmas... then they better bring sharper claws." – Captain Jingly Jack, Elf Corsair of the Sleighbreaker

A storm brews over the Caribbean as Christmas collides with chaos in “Candy Canes & Cutlasses” — a high-energy Christmas Rock/Pirate Punk anthem where sleigh bells clash with sword steel, and sugarplum courage faces down nightmare fury.

This song tells the tale of Santa’s elite elf crew aboard the Sleighbreaker, a festively armed pirate ship delivering gifts across the southern seas. But their holly-jolly voyage is violently interrupted by a band of Halloween demon pirates hellbent on stealing the presents, cursing the season, and sinking Christmas beneath the waves.

But these elves aren’t just toy-makers… they’re fighters. With candy cane blades, peppermint grenades, and a sleigh full of grit, they raise the red-and-green flag and shout one simple creed:

If you want to ruin Christmas—You’d better be ready to settle it with a swordfight.

Packed with explosive choruses, shredding guitar riffs, sleighbell fury, and a duel-fueled narrative, this song delivers a one-of-a-kind holiday brawl anthem unlike anything on the radio. A perfect fusion of festive cheer and swashbuckling chaos, “Candy Canes & Cutlasses” is your new go-to for pirate-punk holiday rebellion.

Lyrics

[Intro]
🎄 Yo-ho-ho and a candy cane blade,
Elves on deck, and we ain't afraid!
🎃 Shadows rise on Christmas tide—
Demon pirates comin’ for Santa's ride!

[Verse 1]
Crackin’ the sails on a cocoa breeze,
Tinsel ropes tight, presents stacked with ease.
But off the port side, stormin’ through the mist—
A hellish crew with claws and fists!

[Pre-Chorus 1]
We warned them once with jingle-bell might,
But they're here for war, not carols tonight.
No peace for thieves on Christmas Eve—
So sharpen your blades and roll up your sleeves!

[Chorus 1]
Settle it with a swordfight!
If you're naughty, you'll pay that price!
Settle it with a swordfight!
Deck this deck in steel and ice!
We duel to protect the gifts, and none of us will fold—
So hoist your blade, defend the sleigh,
Or walk the plank in the cold!

[Verse 2]
Demon captain with a pumpkin grin,
Said, "These gifts are ours, now let’s begin!"
But we don’t run, and we don’t fear—
We’ve trained all year for battles like here!

[Pre-Chorus 2]
Peppermint steel, sugar-plum blades,
We cut through curses and shadowy raids.
Their claws might slash, their flames may burn—
But toy-laden justice will always return!

[Chorus 2]
Settle it with a swordfight!
When you try to steal Christmas cheer!
Settle it with a swordfight!
We'll sleigh your crew right here!
Elves don’t back down, we fight with style and sleigh-ride pride,
So grip your hilt, prepare for guilt—
‘Cause no one steals this Yuletide!

[Verse 3]
Candy cane spears clashed with bone-made blades,
We danced on decks in moonlit raids.
Stockings flew and sparks ignited,
The clash of holidays, wildly united!

[Pre-Chorus 3]
From silent nights to roaring seas,
We guard this sleigh by any means.
No spooky fleet can shake our cause—
We fight for joy, not fame or applause!

[Chorus 3]
Settle it with a swordfight!
Let the bells ring with metal’s song!
Settle it with a swordfight!
This showdown’s been brewing too long!
From the North Pole to the tropic breeze, our blades stay gift-wrapped tight—
So storm the mast, make this your last,
Tonight we own this fight!

[Verse 4]
One by one their nightmares fell,
To holly-wrapped swords and silver shell.
A snowball bomb, a sleigh-blade swing,
You mess with elves, you mess with the king!

[Pre-Chorus 4]
We fight for children, snow, and stars,
Not twisted ghouls behind cursed bars.
Our battle hymns are sung with flair—
With mistletoe fire and frosty air!

[Chorus 4]
Settle it with a swordfight!
No trick or treat can take this haul!
Settle it with a swordfight!
We deck these halls with brawl!
So grip your scythe or shadowed claw—your curse won’t break our song—
Now back to hell, jingle those bells,
You picked the season wrong!

[Verse 5]
The demon ship began to creak,
With sugar mines burst through the teak.
They fled in smoke, we stood with pride,
One gift untouched, not one joy denied.

[Pre-Chorus 5]
Now tales will tell of Christmas night,
When candy blades burned through the fright.
The stars above, the sleigh below—
The legends of elves that stole the show!

[Chorus 5]
Settle it with a swordfight!
No coal in our hearts tonight!
Settle it with a swordfight!
We won with cheer and might!
Raise high the flag of red and green, let snowflakes crown the crew—
We fought, we won, the night is done—
And Santa’s comin’ through!

[Outro]
🎅 So next time you think to raid our ride,
Remember: we’ve got elves with blades and pride.
🎄 Not every sleigh runs on peace and light…
Sometimes Christmas wins in a swordfight.