Armin Arlert Becomes A Dark God

Описание: Yes. THAT scene. Happy holidays.

TRANSCRIPT:
Commander: Armin Arlert!
Armin: ME-ow!!!
Commander: Is what they say true? Are you truly a FUCKED UP little shit?
Armin: Well, I think I'm perfectly normal, but I may have desires some might classify as 'off'
Commander: Okay Private Arlert. We're going to play a little game, one that will determine not only your survival, but that of your bitch friends as well.
Armin: Sir, this is a horrific misuse of command power ---
Commander: SILENCE! Armin Arlert, I challenge you to a personal duel to the DEATH! We shall fight with words to determine once and for all...WHO IS THE MOST FUCKED UP HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET?!”
Armin's eyes narrow.
Armin: Now THIS, I can do.
EPIC MUSIC
Armin: I play with human dolls!
Commander: I play with human lives!
Armin: I laugh at death!
Commander: I worship Satan on the weekends!
Armin: Satan worships me!
Commander: I lick tears off of orphans!
Armin: I call arson a career!
Commander: I joined the military to watch people die!
Armin: I celebrate human failure.
Commander: I send men to certain death.
Armin: I harass the elderly.
Commander: I inject my soldiers with disease!
Armin: I throw rocks at the homeless.
Commander: Oh yeah?! Well you wouldn't know anything about this because you're a virgin, but casualties are my favorite form of sexual foreplay!
Armin is shocked, near defeat.
Commander: Yes! Hahahahahaha! Foolish child! You thought you could match wits with the worst of us and win. You played the cards of a petulant boy, Armin Arlert. Now, you and your friends will die. Prepare to fire!
Armin turns his head to look at his friends, worried. Cuts to Eren and Mikasa looking back, encouraging him, egging him on.
Mikasa (inner thoughts): Armin, I know you can still win this. I believe in you.
Eren (inner thoughts): There's nobody creepier than you. You've got this!
Armin: (inner thoughts) You thought you were fighting a mere mortal?! You thought you could probe the darkness that is my mind???!
Armin turns into a Dark Lord.
Armin: FOOL! I shall drown you in the maelstorm of my nightmares! My tentacles will twist and contort your throat as I throttle you with visions of hemaphroditic succubi and violent Oedipal rape fantasies!!! I will take your cities. I will subjugate your children. I will rape and devour your armies. But you, only you, will remain alive. So you may bear testament to my will and ultimate REVENGEANCE!!!


SUBTITLES: Maria Samigulina


...sometimes I worry about the stuff I write.