Minecraft - A Cinematic Parasite

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The Minecraft Movie doesn't even attempt to spin a story out of its source material. It just leeches off its popularity. This will be the model for video game adaptations going forward.

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Timestamps
Intro - "It's Just A Kids Movie" - 00:00
Sponsor: Opera - 05:23
Four Quadrant Casting: 07:38
Steve Years for the Mines: 12:45
Into the Minecraftverse: 18:40
I Am Aquaman: 31:20
Sister & Lisp: 38:34
Creativity Is Not Punished: 45:14
Into the Overworld: 52:20
Lalala-Lava Chicken: 01:06:20
Nether’s Got Talent: 01:23:12
The Redstone Mines of Moria: 01:28:00
The Woodland Mansion: 01:34:55
Aquaman Dies, Nobody Notices: 01:40:50
The Final Battle 01:44:05
The Movie Gets Confused: 01:49:10
Outro: Play Games Instead: 01:54:15