How To Get Over Your EX (6 EASY STEPS)

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Hi everybody! Lindsay here from Be Primo, and today I wanted to talk about how to get over your ex.

First, I want to say that you’re going to have feelings and that’s ok. No one gets over heartbreak overnight, being upset is only natural, so don’t try to suppress your feelings. Give yourself a few days, maybe even a week or two, to be sad. You can be really sad. Like listen to sad music, watch sad movies, stay burrowed under your blankets, cry a lot, however it is that you need to get your emotions out. But once that time is up, turn your focus towards healing. You’ll still be upset, but your feelings won’t be center stage anymore. You’re gonna be looking forward now.

No contact.
During your time of all the feelings, you want to cut off all contact with your ex and you don’t want to make any any big decisions. And the faster you can end any contact or remove any reminders whatsoever of them, the easier it’ll be to move on. Absence, in this case, makes the heart forget. Having instagram or Facebook notifications pop up with their face is going to just make you think of how great they were (even if they weren’t), and it’s even worse if you actually see or talk to them in person [definitely don’t to that].
If you’re in a similar situation where you can’t avoid your ex completely, remove yourself as best you can from situations where you might run into each other. If you have common friends, let your friends know that you want to spend time with them, you just can’t be around your ex for now. And definitely don’t make your friends choose between you and your ex. It’s just awkward for them and can make things uncomfortable when hanging out. If you know that you have to see your ex at work or in a class, spend some time mentally preparing yourself beforehand. Take 5 or 10 minutes taking some slow, deep breaths, practice meditation, and even give yourself a pep talk. Pick up some healthy practices that’ll help calm you.

Set Boundaries and keep them.
You’re going to want to reach out to your ex, your ex might try to reach out to you, but don’t do it. Don’t bend your rules or let them step past your boundaries while you’re still emotionally vulnerable. Part of keeping your boundaries means you have to have enough respect for yourself to enforce them. You have to learn to say no even when your emotionally raging brain is flip flopping around, as well as have the confidence to say no. Don’t worry about how your ex will feel if you stand firm and say no to them (they broke up with you after all, so screw them). These are your boundaries and therefore deserve to be respected.

Stop romanticizing them.
We view our relationships with rose colored glasses once they’re over, but just because you want to think that your ex is perfect and that you two were made for each other doesn’t mean that was the reality. Breakups tend to happen for a reason, so stop thinking about your ex as if they were the only one for you and that everything was wonderful when you two were together. It’s much easier to get over them when you take off the glasses and see things for what they really were.

Focus on yourself and create a sense of purpose.
Instead of spending your days ruminating about how great your relationship used to be and how much you miss your ex, focus on how you can make yourself a better person and learn to enjoy being single.
Pick up a hobby that maybe you stopped doing when you were in the relationship, learn a new skill, spend more time with friends, go out and meet new people, create a new sense of purpose for yourself, even if it’s a short-term goal. Keeping yourself busy in a positive and productive way will help you forget about your ex, boost your confidence, and it’ll start attracting new people to you.

Learn to let go of any negative feelings towards your ex.
A vital part of moving on from your breakup is when you can come to a point where you don’t hate your ex anymore, you don’t want to make them jealous, and you don’t hope that they’re miserable without you.

Eventually, you’ll come to a place where you can look back on your relationship without pain and even learn something about yourself from it. But each time it doesn’t work out, it’s an opportunity to reflect on what worked and what didn’t work. Do you find any patterns in your dating that always end badly? Are there certain qualities that you need in a person that you kept missing before? Is there anything that you can do to be a better partner? While breakups can hurt pretty badly, remember that they’re never the end of all things good. They’re the end of one chapter to your life and the beginning of the next. And this next chapter is full of new, beautiful, and exciting opportunities.