JEALOUSY - October 16th, 2022 | The Dark Spiral of Obsession and Fear

Описание: A spoken word exploration of jealousy, obsession, and the stories the mind creates in love.
A piece about insecurity, fear of loss, and emotional spirals.

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Written text:
When the picture isn’t whole,
my world collapses, slips from control.
When pieces vanish from what I know,
I build the puzzle out of shadows.

I never know if what I see is truth,
or madness tightening its grip,
its knees pressed hard against my chest—
a dark disease
that drags me under, makes me freeze.

Searching for the smallest clue,
I open doors I never knew—
and jealousy slithers through,
bruising my softness black and blue.
It gnaws my calm, distorts my grace,
drains the light out of my face,
turns every thought into a crooked trace
of fear I’m terrified to erase.

Yes—I know he hunts new eyes.
Yes—I know he speaks in lies.
Yes—I know another girl
could make his starving spirit whirl.
But oh, the cruelty I let inside—
the storm I never learned to ride,
the way I twist my heart with pride
until there’s nothing left to hide.

My mind becomes a spinning pyre,
each thought a spark, each spark a fire.
My chest tightens with the raw desire
to know the truth behind the wire.
I hear the voices—sharp, unkind—
that claw and tear inside my mind,
a thousand claws I always find
whenever hope slips out of line.
Reality bends, breaks, misbehaves;
the walls reshape into their graves.

I see it happening—I know it raves—
but I can’t stop the tidal waves.

I try to run.
I try to pray.
But jealousy won’t go away.
It chews my heart in slow decay
and turns my gold to shades of gray.
I’m jealous of another’s touch,
of love that maybe hurts too much,
of ghosts that cling, of pasts that clutch,
of every name he doesn’t say as such.

Jealous of the world entire—
each woman’s smile, each fleeting fire,
each memory he won’t retire,
each heartbeat feeding my desire.

My heart is trapped in wounded skin,
between the ache and hope within—
and tearing into myself again
becomes the only sin I’m in.
The only pain that floods my veins,
the only truth my soul explains—
a darkness sweet, like poisoned rain
that drowns me…
yet I remain.

And now—this ruin feels complete.
A perfect hurt.
A perfect heat.
A perfect way for me to meet
the shadowed rhythm
of defeat.

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This text may not be reproduced or distributed without written permission.
Instrumental generated with AI assistance.

#Jealousy
#ObsessiveLove
#SpokenWordPoetry
#InnerStruggle