Ethan Jewell - This is What Depression Feels Like

Описание: Song: What Depression Feels like
By: Ethan Jewell
Album: Stuck in a bad place (2023)

“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’”
— C.S. Lewis

When we first heard this song; we cried. We can relate to the feeling expressed and the experience of it all.

Ethan Jewell’s song “what depression feels like” is a raw, spoken word piece layered over gentle piano that captures the weight and numbness of depression. Through unfiltered lyrics and minimalistic sound, Jewell offers a deeply personal look into his emotional struggles, resonating with listeners who’ve experienced similar pain.

The song emphasizes the importance of embracing sadness as a part of being human. Jewell’s message is not about fixing depression but acknowledging it, making space for the full spectrum of emotion. He reminds us that feeling deeply is a sign that we are alive and that happiness is still within reach.

Jewell’s work continues to resonate widely, especially with those seeking solace in art that doesn’t sugarcoat reality. His vulnerable style offers not just music—but, a connection for those feeling disconnected.


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Lyrics:

This bed that was once for sleep has become a prison
This feeling whispers to me, so of course, I listen to it
Because I don't know myself anymore
I don't want to open that door
I know they're waiting, they're knocking, they're there to listen
But what if they aren't
What if instead I'm greeted by the prodding of hot irons
Wide smiles hiding guilty liars

So I lay back down and spend hours scrolling on my phone
Wondering if I'll ever be able to fully live alone
And my coffee doesn't taste right, take some pills to help my brain
Have a 7 hour self hate sesh, go to the arcade
I don't want to go to therapy, I swear I'm feeling fine
But I'll listen to my friends rant, that's how I spend most of my time
Mental headspace gone, I still fill it up with words
Pinch myself to stay awake, and like it when it hurts

I can't move (move, move, move)
I can't feel (feel, feel, feel)
I can't prove (prove, prove)
What is real (what is real, what is real, what is real)

I feel like a magnet of despair that's been pulled down too strong
I feel like I've got a million tons of weight from my mistakes on my shoulders
I feel like I've been crushed by rocks, not pebbles, but boulders
It's almost like I'm falling in reverse, but reverse is worse
Because I'm losing my progress
I don't want to bother them again
They helped me the first time, when I was a lesser friend
So I can do this on my own, right
Wrong (wrong, wrong, wrong)

I'm empty (empty, empty, empty)
I'm selfish (selfish)
I'm lost
I'm breaking
I'm sinking (sinking)
Lower (lower)
Until one day
It all just stops

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Ethan Jewell