“You’re so introverted” idk how to socialize

Описание: I don’t understand many references and often get confused when in discussions about nostalgia. Got explained what a “pixy stix” is yesterday. Didn’t understand that marriage ≠ s-x until way after preteen years, didn’t get to watch childhood network shows, I never was told what medicines to take for things, nor was I given any during times of need. Never had a friend that I departed from on good terms, and didn’t know that was possible. Wasn’t taught how to look at people in the eyes when talking or how to make boundaries that isn’t just blocking someone. Didn’t travel to more than three states in America, I haven’t even visited the capitol of my current state in the 8 years I’ve lived here. Didn’t get to experience sleepovers or birthday parties. Never a proper kiss or a gesture of physical affection like head pats and such.
Everyone else seems like they’ve lived so much more life than me.
I’ve seen real stars maybe once or twice in my life.
Seen the sunset less than 10 times.
I’ve never played with other kids without being the dog.
I lived in the basement during preteen years. “You’re introverted, so you like to be alone.” No one would ever visit. I’d have to visit them. But no one was ever properly together. Everyone secretly hated each other. So all I could do, with only three apps in my phone, was write and story build, listening to one of three music artists. Never a message on my phone nor a notification to be seen.
Just to sit on the floor, wasting life away.
Perhaps that’s how I’ll perish.