Exploring Emotions #8: Primary & Secondary Emotions Part V

Описание: If you're able to notice a secondary emotional response, and start the work of investigating what's underneath, there is an important question you can ask yourself about the primary underlying emotion: is this primary emotion from the present (adaptive), or is it an emotion I carry from my past history (maladaptive). If it's a primary emotion arising from the present moment, it's crucial to validate and process that emotion. If someone does something hurtful to you, it's important to acknowledge and process any primary justified anger or sadness you may feel, and express the valid need for respect or care that have been unmet. On the other hand, if it's a primary emotion rooted in your more distant past, it's essential to validate the circumstances that led to the development of that emotional scar and what needs were not met. Maybe you were chronically invalidated as a child, resulting in primary shame. Take a compassionate stance toward your younger self, acknowledging the hardships you faced and the need to be understood and loved. Allow yourself to grieve the painful and lonely existence that your younger self endured, while reminding yourself of your present strength and agency. This transformative work will guide you away from diffuse secondary emotional responses and foster more adaptive emotional processes.


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