Sheriff Fatman (Live At The Phoenix Festival, 15th July 1994) [Official Audio]

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Lyrics:

"Yeah

Now, Sheriff Fatman started out in business as a granny farmer
He was infamous for 15 minutes and he appeared in Panorama
But then he somehow got himself on board
The Starship Enterprise Allowance Scheme
With a Prince of Wales award for pushing Valium and amphetamines

Moving up onto second base behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface
Six foot six and a hundred tons, the undisputed king of the slums
More aliases than Klaus Barbie, the master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
Just about to take the stage, one and only, hold the front page

Fatman's got something to sell to the capital's homeless
The Crossroads Motel for the no-fixed-abodeless
Live life in style, you can sleep in a closet
Flash him a smile, he'll take your teeth as deposit

There's bats in the belfry, the windows are jammed
The toilets ain't healthy, he don't give a damn
Chuckles and smiles, laughs like a madman
Born again Rachman, here comes Sheriff Fatman

His Valium, amphetamines
Sick notes and his phony prescriptions
Just when you thought it was safe
To go back into the kitchen, dead legs, cracked heads
Bunk-beds and breakfasts
Come on, come on

You know you want to
Ha-ha-ha, hey-hey-hey
I'm laughing now, when she can't catch me
Ha-ha-ha, hey-hey-hey
I'm laughing now, when she can't catch me

Moving up onto second base behind Nicholas Van Wotsisface
Six foot six and a hundred tons, the undisputed king of the slums
With more aliases than Klaus Barbie, the master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
Just about to take the stage, the one and only, hold the front page
Moving up now to take the place of Nicholas Van Wotsisface
At six foot six and a hundred tons, the undisputed king of the slums
With more aliases than Klaus Barbie, the master butcher of Leigh-on-Sea
In a hatchback from Notre Dame, the one and only Sheriff Fatman

In goes another left hook and now I'm losing my patience
Someone call up Roger Cook and The United Nations
He's buying up houses for hasbeens, help me
From Lands End to Southend and Chelsea

There's bats in the belfry
He don't give a damn
He just chuckles and smiles and laughs like a madman
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Sherriff Fatman, yeah!

Sherriff Fatman!
Sherriff Fatman!
Sherriff fucking bloody, fucking possum
We are gonna make you a star"