Borderline Personality Disorder...This Is What I Feel .... [My Immortal]

Описание: This is about what BPD is like for me...
Another poem I have written about Borderline Personality Disorder. It's not easy to try and put everything in words as it's really difficult to explain but this one is a bit simpler than my other BPD poem.

Online Blog: http://sotakemyhand.blogspot.com/

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Do not claim to own audio/music -My Immortal by Evanescence.
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Remember That I'm Here:

Theres never a day when I feel free,
Never peaceful, never how I want to be,
What you see, when you see me smile,
Its hiding everything I really feel

Theres pain inside, all of the time,
Pain. Fear. Hurt.
Nothing has to happen for me to change,
Nothing has to change for me to feel so many different ways.

Time wont heal me,
Sometimes I wonder why I even try,
As whenever I do, the fall takes away the healing,
And yet again Im back to where I was before.

All those times,
All those pictures that hold bright, engraved memories,
Theres that smile upon my face,
It seems to be everything,
So why dont I see the best things,
Only I see right through to who I truly know

If only the best times never ended,
Although I never want them to be here at all,
Sometimes I think the world of you,
Other times I dont want to know you at all,
Although there are some people and some times when,
I would fall apart without you there with me.

Please dont forget about me,
My deepest fears are that youll leave me,
That you wont remember me,
That Id take the fall and maybe one day
I wouldnt stand again.

Dont let go,
I love you, I hate you but I need you,
Can you see medo you know that Im here?

Sometimes you know Im around,
Although I really dont know how to be,
What to say, regret and fear, worry and no truth,
What you see, its all lies,
Only I know the pain that I feel every day,
Those days that I am with you,
All that time Im hiding away.

Sometimes, even if I seem to be okay,
You should know that sometimes
I am so near to giving up,
I fall and my weakness shows

Every day this is what I face,
Pain. Fear. Hurt.
all the strength I thought I had leaves me again.
Can you see medo you know that Im here?

The mask is flawless, a strong person stands there but
Im falling apart,
I have no reason,
Then I have no strength,
Only the two colours that I see,
Sometimes its all okay but Im always reminded
Never able to forget

Dont let go,
I love you, I hate you but I need you,
Can you see me
Please dont forget about me

It feels like the weight of the world,
On my small shoulders,
So much to say,
Its easier to stay silent

The times I run away
I forget about all the people that are there,
The people that have promised me they will be there,
That they will never leave me,
I still fear that you will leave me,
That you wont be around,
That you will let go of that tight grip on my hand.

All the times I say that Im so sorry
Think what it could mean.
Take care of what you ask of me,
Because I know that,
The end of lifehas no pain at all.
So I have to let gowhy does the pain have to stay with me

Please dont let me go
Its up to you to keep hold of me.
Remember that Im here.