How We Stop Co-Creating Our Own Misery (with Fred Luskin)

Описание: What do we do when life doesn't go the way we hoped—when we're hurt, disappointed, or overwhelmed by circumstances we can't control?


In this episode of The Connection Effect, Bill Groner sits down with Fred Luskin, founder of the Stanford Forgiveness Project and one of the world's leading researchers on forgiveness. But this is not a conversation about excusing harm or forgiving others. Instead, it's a practical and deeply human exploration of how we respond to adversity—and how our responses often determine whether we remain stuck or move forward.


Fred shares how unresolved grief turns into grievance, why we unknowingly "co-create our own misery," and how attention, gratitude, cognitive reframing, and nervous-system regulation can restore a sense of agency and well-being. Drawing from decades of research and lived experience, he reframes forgiveness as a way of letting go of what no longer serves us—so we can reconnect with our lives as they are, not as we wish they had been.


This episode offers grounded, accessible practices for navigating disappointment, uncertainty, and even large-scale challenges like political or climate anxiety—without bypassing pain or denying reality.


If you've ever felt caught in a negative loop, emotionally drained by circumstances beyond your control, or unsure how to move on without minimizing what happened, this conversation offers a powerful and hopeful way forward.
Topics of discussion:

00:00 Introduction to the Connection Effect


00:36 Exploring Self-Forgiveness with Fred Luskin


03:05 Fred Luskin's Personal Journey


05:31 Understanding the Concept of Letting Go


10:31 The Role of Grieving in Forgiveness


16:02 The Power of Gratitude and Positive Emotion


27:14 Understanding Forgiveness


28:22 Existential Forgiveness


29:24 Power of Attention and Gratitude


30:55 Cognitive Disputation and Emotional Competence


32:34 Practical Applications of Forgiveness


38:06 Gratitude Practices


39:33 Guided Imagery Exercise


45:52 Daily Practices for Happiness


49:26 Conclusion and Reflection
Connect with Fred Luskin

• Website: https://fredluskin.com/

• LinkedIn:   / frederic-luskin-2a643112  

• Email: [email protected] (mailto:[email protected])

• Books (Forgive for Good and Forgive for Love): https://fredluskin.com/books/
Connect with The Connection Effect

• Join the community and conversation on The Connection Effect Substack connection.net/substack (http://connection.net/substack)

• Questions? Guest inquiries? Email: [email protected] (mailto:[email protected])