Heavy Eyes

Описание: 5th song of circus beyond my eyes album
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Lyrics-

[Verse 1]

I keep your name
in places I don’t visit anymore
It still knows me
even when I don’t

Time keeps moving like I asked it to
I just never learned how to go with it

⸻

[Verse 2]

I wake up heavy like I never slept,
Like my body kept score of every regret
I move through days I don’t remember choosing,
Smiling like it’s something I’m still good at using

Every mirror tells me I look fine,
Every night proves that’s a lie
I learned how to carry this quietly,
Make it look like it isn’t killing me

⸻

[Pre-Chorus]

I tried to outrun the echo of you in my head
But it knows my pace, it knows where I live
I don’t hate you
I hate what stayed

⸻

[Chorus]

I’m still breathing, but I’m worn thin
Every part of me caves inward
I don’t need saving, I don’t need proof
I just need this to mean something to you
If this is living, I learned it wrong
I’ve been strong for too damn long

⸻

[Post-Chorus]

Too damn long…
Still here…
Still gone…

⸻

[Verse 3]

I keep my hands busy so they don’t shake,
Keep my mouth shut so I don’t say your name
I replay moments like they owe me answers,
Like pain ever cared about closure

I don’t talk about it, I let it sit,
Let it rot where no one notices
I tell myself this is what growth feels like,
But it just feels like learning how to survive

⸻

[Verse 4]

I didn’t break—I disappeared
In pieces small enough no one feared
I became useful, I became numb
I became someone I could outrun

⸻

[Bridge]

If I let this out, I might fall apart
If I keep it in, it’s tearing my heart—

I don’t want to die.
I just don’t want to be here like this.
I don’t want answers.
I want the noise to stop.

I want to stop pretending
this doesn’t hurt.

⸻

[Chorus]

I’m still breathing, but I’m worn thin
Every prayer hits the ceiling and bends
I don’t need heaven, I don’t need peace
I just need someone to fucking see
That I stayed
That I tried
That I’m still alive
Even if it doesn’t feel right

⸻

[Outro]

I carry this like it’s mine to keep
Like pain ever asked for permission
Time goes by…
I’m still here

Functioning
Hurting
Alive