He Cheated After Years Together | Reddit Confessions

Описание:    / @real_betrayal_stories  
I'm thirty-five years old, engaged to a man who loves me more than I've ever been loved, and I'm thinking about leaving him. I know how that sounds. Everyone tells me I should be grateful. He's kind, attentive, faithful, hardworking. He would drop everything for me in a heartbeat. He makes me snacks. He tells me I'm beautiful. He wants to marry me and build a life together. He's everything I thought I was supposed to want.
But when he leaves the house, I feel relief. When he comes home, I feel dread. We've been together for seven years and living together for six months, and I haven't told my best friends or my father that we're engaged. I haven't set a wedding date. Because somewhere deep inside, I know I don't want to marry him.
I'm not attracted to him. I never have been. Not in that visceral, "jump his bones" way. Our conversations are surface-level. I don't find his perspective interesting. He's content with mediocrity in his career while I'm driven to achieve more. He's deeply religious while I'm secular and have been for over twenty years. When we talk about art, food, travel, intellectual topics—the things that light me up—his eyes glaze over unless he thinks showing interest will get my attention.
We argue constantly about sex because he wants it far more than I do, and I can't fake desire I don't feel. I make twice his salary and sometimes resent that his lack of ambition limits the lifestyle I always wanted. Six months of living together has revealed hundreds of incompatibilities I didn't see before, and I find myself leaving the house just to escape the life I'm building with someone I'm not sure I even like most days.
But I'm thirty-five. My fertile years are ending. I've been in therapy for years trying to figure out why I can't seem to find lasting love. My family of origin was a mess—alcoholic father and brother, complicated relationship with my late mother. Therapists tell me I don't know how to choose healthy partnerships. Maybe this is as good as it gets. Maybe all relationships settle into tolerant coexistence. Maybe I'm just broken and unable to appreciate a good man when he's right in front of me. Or maybe I'm about to marry someone I'll resent for the rest of my life because I'm too scared to start over. This is my story of being engaged to someone safe while wondering if I'm making the biggest mistake of my life.
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