An Evil Within Me |

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| Full Lyrics |
I keep telling myself I’m still in control.
(you’re drifting…)
Whenever I try to quiet down, the other voice wakes up.
(you let me in… )
I don’t know when it started
or why it doesn’t stop.
(because you can’t shut me out…)
Tonight…
it’s louder than ever.

I follow my thoughts like I’m tracking a moving target,
trying to line them up but they shake out of place.
Every time I focus, it pushes back,
(you feel me growing… )
I try to stay steady,
but my own decisions slip through my hands.
I speak to calm myself,
but my voice bends like it belongs to someone else.
I tell myself I’m fine, just tired—
(say it again… )
But even I can hear the strain behind the lie.

There’s a breath behind my thoughts,
quiet but cutting through everything I say.
It waits for me to slow down,
and I feel it leaning closer.

I’m slipping through the lines I speak,
trying to keep my head from breaking.
If this is still my voice,
why does it feel like someone’s taking it?
I’m trying to hold myself together,
but the pressure keeps pulling deeper.
If I’m the one who’s talking,
why do I hear another answer?

My thinking stumbles like a rhythm out of sync.
I try to correct it, but another pattern pushes in,
(I rewrite it… )
My focus breaks whenever it speaks,
filling every decision with its own tone.
I lock down the thoughts I don’t want,
but the doors shift like they don’t want to stay closed.
I tell myself “stay solid,”
(you keep falling…)
And every doubt I try to crush
comes back louder than before.

I hear breath in the gaps of my sentences,
calm, patient, ready to replace the sound of me.
If silence could press against your throat,
it would feel exactly like this.

I’m slipping through the lines I speak,
trying to keep my head from breaking.
If this is still my voice,
why does it feel like someone’s taking it?
I’m trying to hold myself together,
but the pressure keeps pulling deeper.
If I’m the one who’s talking,
why do I hear another answer?

I thought the doubts were mine,
but the tone never matched my breath.
Every thought I buried
returned in words I’d never used.
I tried to claim the voice inside,
but it pushed through like it already lived here.
And now I finally understand—
(you were never fighting me.)

LET ME TALK.
LET ME STAND.
LET ME WEAR YOUR NAME LIKE IT’S MINE IN MY HAND.
You try to hold control—
YOU CAN’T.
You try to rise—
I BEND YOU BACK.
Your mind was a room—
I TOOK THE KEY.
You thought you owned your voice—
YOU ONLY BORROWED IT FROM ME.

I’m slipping through the lines I speak,
trying to keep my head from breaking.
If this is still my voice,
why does it feel like someone’s taking it?
I’m trying to hold myself together,
but something’s pulling harder, faster.
If I’m the one who’s screaming,
(you’re not the one who answers…)

I feel you breathing through my lungs now.
(we breathe as one… )
I try to speak my name—
(we share it now… )
And as I fade into the quiet,
I finally understand:
I’m the lie.
You’re my reason.