Super Smash Bros. Ultimate - Palutena's Guidance - Peach

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Showing Palutena's Guidance on Peach.

"I wanna know if Peach has some sort of weakness to being kidnapped. Lady Palutena, do you have any ideas?" Pit asked.

"Hmm, well, maybe she becomes completely helpless when grabbed from a certain part that paralyzes her whole body," Palutena theorized.

"Oh, please, that's a cliche, stereotype, and sort of sexist rolled all into one," Viridi said.

"Maybe she gets very shocked when the kidnapper shows up and the next second they swipe her feet off the ground," Chris theorized.

"The element of surprise! Yes!" Pit said. "Surprise is something no one is prepared for! It's how baddies are able to catch you off-guard, leading to amazing epic battle of the ages!"

"But she's been surprised dozens of times," Viridi said. "Is she that bad at not learning to steel herself from that tactic? She should be a pro by now."

"She's an inspiration to all women, though," Palutena said.

"How?" everyone else asked.

"She gives them all the drive to defend themselves by recalling her harrowing experiences, awakening the strength in them all to fend off their crazy stalkers wanting to kidnap them for stuff I can't really say here because of the rating we have. Though she may be an easy target for kidnapping, she remains a modern role model for all girls out there..."

"...Wow," Pit said.

Viridi looked bored. "Is it that hard to say they all carry tasers in their purses," she asked.

Palutena giggled. "Some know the good ol' crotch kick, though. Pretty effective defensive measure against the opposite sex," she said.

"It hurts me there just thinking about it!" Pit commented, to the disgust of everyone present.

"We're done with this conversation," Chris wisely said, the goddesses agreeing.

Watch, enjoy, and comment, everyone.