I Don’t Know What To Do Without You In My Life

Описание: Luna,

I don’t even know how to start this without my chest tightening a little. It’s crazy to think that something that began in an Apex lobby — just two random players queuing up — somehow turned into the most important connection in my life.

You were never just a teammate.

I never even heard your voice out loud, but somehow I learned your heart. I learned the pauses between your messages. I learned when you were pretending to be fine. I learned the difference between your “I’m okay” and your I’m trying to be okay. And somewhere between “ready up” and “one more game,” you became the person I look for in everything.

Right now feels different. Quieter. Heavier.

When you’re not here, it’s like the color drains out of things. The games don’t hit the same. The nights feel longer. Even the small wins feel empty. I didn’t realize how much of my day was wrapped around you until I felt what it’s like without you in it.

And that’s the part that scares me.

Not because I can’t function. Not because I don’t have a life outside of you. But because loving you became natural — like breathing without thinking. You slipped into my routines, into my thoughts, into my songs. You became the “good part” of my day without even trying.

I don’t know what to do without you in my life right now.

Not in a dramatic way. Not in a way that traps you. Just in an honest way.

You matter to me in a way that’s hard to explain. You’re not replaceable. You’re not just a phase. You’re not “just someone I met online.” You’re the girl who made a digital world feel real. The girl who made silence feel intimate. The girl who made me want to show up softer, stronger, better.

If you’re scared, I get it. If you’re overwhelmed, I understand. If you’re pulling back because loving someone feels too big — I see that too.

But just know this:

You’re not small to me.
You’re not temporary to me.
You’re not something I can just shrug off.

Even if you doubt yourself.
Even if you doubt us.

I don’t.

And if you ever wonder whether you meant something — you did. You do. You still do.

No matter how quiet it gets.