It’s Been 9 Months and I Still Miss My Ex

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Question:

I’m not sure if you are able to answer this question or just provide some good support but thought I’d reach out because you are a great source of wisdom when it comes to relationships.

One year ago I “pseudo” broke up with a man who was a good person but was just not “my person”. We continued daily contact until December when I decided to try and “move on” by going back on dating apps. This woke my ex up and he threw a love hail mary by saying he had made the biggest mistake of his life and wanted me back. I declined his efforts because he was disingenuous and his letter was fear based. One week after he told me he was madly in love with me, he asked another woman out. That felt like a punch to the gut. That was Dec. 26, 2020.

We corresponded minimally for two months and then I decided for my mental health and moving on purposes, I had to go no contact on March 1st. He very much wanted to be friends but I knew that wasn’t possible. After 16 months of talking daily, sometimes twice a day, communication was severed and it was excruciating.

Some days the grief overwhelms me. My question revolves around the normalcy (if there is such a thing) of the length of time it takes to get past the pain of a relationship. It feels abnormal with how sad I still feel 9 months after parting. I don’t regret walking away either which makes this whole thing even more confusing. No matter how many times I read my list of 20 reasons he wasn’t the one, my heart still aches for what he did give me: companionship, laughter and responsiveness.

Why so much pain when I knew in my heart he wasn’t the one?
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💖💖💖
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Love & Life podcast episodes which will help!
11–I share one of the breakup songs I wrote!
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