Saying yes to physical intimacy you don’t want can be traumatizing.

Описание: Have you been here before? Share your experience in the comments.

There are SO many reasons why we might say yes to intimacy when we feel a no.

We might face gendered pressures: pressures that teach women that it’s “our duty;” pressures that tell men that they have to “prove their masculinity” by being insatiable; pressures that push queer folks to engage in intimacy to feel acceptance or belonging.

We might wish to be liked, gain security in a relationship, or feel connected in some way.

Or we might be experiencing a fawn response due to past traumas we’ve experienced.

In these cases, it isn’t necessarily obvious to our partners that we aren’t enjoying ourselves. After all, people-pleasers are among the world’s greatest performers; we have become skilled at feeling one way, but acting another.

If you’ve been through this, it’s not your fault. Your pain is real, EVEN if you were the one who said yes. Your body was still present for an experience it didn’t want, and now, it’s deserving of healing, love, and care.

Pre-order STOP People Pleasing and Find Your Power (available as hardcover, ebook, or audiobook at Haileymagee.com/book) to learn more about why this dynamic can happen⁠—what we can do to break the pattern⁠—and how we can learn to rediscover authentic, empowered physical intimacy in our relationships.

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