All Delivered With That Personal Touch: ITV (Anglia) adverts, Christmas Day 1987

Описание: The last break from Bedknobs and Broomsticks on Christmas Day 1987 starts with guess what a sale. At B&Q this time. Still got that C&A-looking logo that doesn't work at any great distance because it swallows its own ampersand, but at least they've almost got the jingle down. And remember, they deliver free!

Next, breakfast cereals. This showed up repeatedly in last year's advent calendar (from Swiss Family Robinson that Christmas Eve), so it's safe to assume that Weetabix were very serious about this one. It certainly looks expensive - not as expensive as the real Raiders of the Lost Ark, but not cheap - but it is just possible that the anthropomorphic Weetagang were getting tired. 1988 would prove to be their last stand; the ad agency's contract would not be renewed and the characters died with it.

Hey, you know that movie you're watching? You know who made it? Disney, bitch! They don't own the world yet - in fact they're still on the road to recovery - but they still wield genuine power, if mostly symbolic. And in 1987 it was fifty years since they invented the feature-length animation with Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, so it's back in cinemas! Go see it, it won't come out on VHS until 1994!

More repetition repetition, first with the hyper-80s model and her noisy hairdryer who's somehow come out of the shower in full mascara and rouge. Silencio! And then that sniffling couple come in from the cold to take some Beechams non-Lemsip again. Where that product - the market leader and more or less a genericised trademark by now - has generally advertised itself as the medicine it is, Beechams seem to be trying to position these things in the direction of Horlicks or Ovaltine, what with the classy branded mugs at the end.

Another exercise in contrast: a cosy living-room setting in which an everysprog and his doggo go through a pocket history of watching television in the UK, with the help of Paul Vaughan, on behalf of Granada Rentals. All very traditionalist and low-key and British. The contrast here is with the tone of other electronics rental stores. At the same time, Radio Rentals were doing high-concept fourth-wall breaking comedy (and occasional guest spots from Max Headroom) while Rumbelows were being all futuristic and neon. None of them would ultimately survive the next decade, of course.

TCP! More familiar from its habit of slowly zooming into frame with its cap flashing like an ambulance light shortly after someone offscreen has grazed a knee, here they're using a single shot and sprinkling of Quantel for a different serving suggestion: gargle with it if you've got a throat infection, it can help fight it off. It'll hurt like fuck, but it will help. Oh, and dilute it with water first, obviously, or it will hurt even worse and then you'll die.

As if summoned by the Beechams lemon thing, here's some actual Horlicks. One of those late shortened versions of a longer advert, which basically just amounts to the punchline, out on its own devoid of context. At least the "pressure valve" visual metaphor survives.

Finally, Queensway still have that sale and that slightly unsettling mascot who looks like a cross between Bobby Ball and a tramp. Headboard not included.