Schnitzel — veal, chicken and pork versions — with cucumber salad

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**SCHNITZEL RECIPE**

Thin pieces (or pieces you can cut thin) of lean, tender meat, like veal cutlets, pork loin chops or chicken breast (it's gotta be veal for Weiner schnitzel)
salt
pepper
flour
egg (with maybe some mustard mixed in)
breadcrumbs (I recommend panko that you process into a fine powder)
oil (clarified butter or lard would be traditional, but a neutral frying oil would be fine)
parsley for garnish (optional)
lemon for garnish (not optional)

If your meat isn't already really thin, cut it thin, then cover it with plastic wrap and pound it with something smooth and heavy until it's as thin as you can get it without tearing it apart. Season with salt and pepper. Dust in the flour and knock off any excess. Dip in the beaten egg and knock off any excess. Coat in breadcrumbs, but be gentle — don't press the meat into the crumbs.

Heat half an inch (1 cm) of oil at most (and probably a little less) over medium-high heat. Dip the edge of the meat into the oil. If it doesn't sizzle, get the oil hotter. If it goes totally crazy, turn the heat down. Fry the cutlets on each side until brown, flipping frequently so that you can see if anything is burning. There should be enough fat in the pan to where the meat is floating, but not submerged. As soon as they look done on the outside, they'll almost certainly be done on the inside. Drain on a rack or paper towels. Top with optional parsley and mandatory fresh lemon juice at the table.

**CLARIFIED BUTTER RECIPE**

Put your butter (half a pound or 227g is a good amount for frying some schnitzel) into a narrow pot and turn the heat on medium-low. Wait until the butter melts and then seems to boil out most of its water — about half an hour. If the butter isn't really boiling, you can turn up the heat, but you'll prob need to turn it back down again when the bubbling starts to slow — it can easily burn once most of the water is out. When the.bubbling has slowed down a lot, either stop, or let the milk solids brown a bit (that's ghee). Strain twice through a sieve with a paper towel in it to get out all the milk sugars and proteins.

**CUCUMBER SALAD RECIPE**

1 English cucumber (or two of a smaller variety)
1/2 a red onion
any neutral vinegar
any neutral oil (or replace the oil with sour cream)
fresh dill
salt
pepper
sugar

Thinly slice the cucumber and onion and combine in a bowl. Chop up the dill and put it in. Give it a pinch of salt and pepper, and a big pinch or two of sugar. Splash in maybe a tablespoon each of vinegar and oil to start with. If replacing the oil with sour cream, you might want about half a cup (120 ml). Stir thoroughly and let sit in the fridge for a few hours, or overnight. Stir again and taste. Add more of whatever it needs.