Cat Attacks Owner at 3AM Like a WWE Wrestler 😂
Автор: Tales of the Guardians
Загружено: 2026-01-31
Просмотров: 264
Описание:
BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ANIMAL CRIME FILES
At approximately 3:00 AM, a feline suspect committed a brazen act of nighttime terrorism against an unsuspecting human victim.
THE CRIME:
The perpetrator entered the bedroom with zero warning and absolutely no respect for basic sleep etiquette. The door was closed. The human was peacefully sleeping. Then without provocation, the cat launched itself onto the victim's chest with the force and precision of a professional WWE wrestler.
THE EVIDENCE:
Exhibit A: Human victim left gasping for air, struggling to breathe under the weight of the furry assailant
Exhibit B: Cat purring loudly at the scene of the crime, showing zero remorse and appearing proud of the attack
THE DEFENSE:
When questioned, the suspect claimed "I was just checking if you were alive" and demanded payment for this so-called wellness check.
THE VERDICT:
GUILTY on all counts of nighttime terrorism, unauthorized chest sitting, and weaponized purring.
THE SENTENCE:
The human victim has been sentenced to forced cuddles and loud purring directly in the ear for an undetermined length of time. There is no escape. There is no mercy.
This is just one of many cases we investigate. Follow Animal Crime Files for more shocking tales of nighttime terror, breakfast time harassment, and other crimes committed by our four-legged overlords.
Justice may be blind, but it's also covered in fur.
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