Resilience Makes Marriages Last | Christian and Caroline Heim |

Описание: Dr. Dave Schramm and Dr. Liz Hale welcome renowned marriage experts, Dr. Christian Heim and Dr. Caroline Heim, from Australia. They discuss insights from the largest global study on long-term relationships, revealing the key elements that make marriages last. The conversation highlights the importance of commitment, altruism, and shared values while addressing the challenges of hyper-individualism, social isolation, and mental health struggles. Whether you're single, married, or in a long-term relationship, this episode offers invaluable tools and perspectives to strengthen your relationship.

#marraigeadvice #resilience #marraigeresilience #makingmarriagework

About Christian and Caroline:

Christian Heim FRANZCP, PhD is a psychiatrist, a Clinical Director in Mental Health Services, Senior Lecturer in the School of Medicine at the University of Queensland and a Churchill Fellow. Christian gives keynotes internationally on preventative mental health. In private psychiatry, he subspecializes in war-related and severe childhood sexual trauma, and couple therapy where mental illness is prominent. Christian publishes books and journal articles in the area of preventative mental health. His latest book was co-authored with Caroline Heim: Resilient Relationships: techniques for surviving hyper-individualism, social isolation and a mental health crisis. (Routledge, 2023).
Caroline Heim is an Associate Professor at Queensland University of Technology. She has published two books in theatre studies and is a global authority on the psychology of relationships in the theatre. Caroline gives keynotes internationally and her numerous articles cover various topics from audiences to the mental health of university students. Specialising in empirical research, she has interviewed over 300 people internationally. Before entering academia, Caroline studied theatre and worked in New York winning a Drama League Award.

Chapters:
0:00 - Introducing the Heims
02:31 - The Heims’ background and research
04:36 - Study overview and participant demographics
07:00 - The top three secrets of long-lasting marriages
13:55 - Contextualizing the study for today’s challenges
16:55 - Hyper-individualism and its effects
21:47 - Relationship between mental health and marriage
25:15 - Key techniques for resilient relationships
29:31 - Unique techniques couples can use
32:40 - Listening and seeing partner’s point of view
35:39 - Dancing each other’s steps for empathy
44:21 - Takeaway of the day: altruism
47:25 - Importance of investing in your relationship

Insights:

Christin: "There are different ways to do things however your relationship works, is the way that your relationship works. Don't feel that you've got to find a formula, but the key to me is that your relationship is your greatest asset, and that means that it'll take some nurturing, it'll take some investment, it'll take time, energy and effort, but gosh, it's worthwhile."

Caroline: "'I'd say probably, is altruism. Because... these couples that put the others needs before there's I could see that they had, again, this strong connection. And. So as we said, it's hard to do that in a in a society that says that everything's got to be about me, and it's about my needs, and if I'm not getting what I want from this relationship, then I'm out of here. But as one, as many of the couples actually said it's much easier to walk away and then to stay and fight for your marriage, you and me against the world, basically."

Dave: " It's this outward mindset, really, of thinking about the we rather than the me. I haven't heard that term hyper individualism, but man, I think that's, that's spot on. I feel like that's like the number one killer in relationships today."

Liz: "one of my favorite events with the recent Olympic Olympics was synchronized diving, and I never thought about it to go for the gold. That the more difficult, the more points, the more opportunity for gold. I thought that was just brilliant."

Links:

https://www.amazon.com/Resilient-Rela...


https://www.drchristianheim.com/


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Dr. Dave Schramm:

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Dr. Liz Hale:

http://www.drlizhale.com